


The Supernatural Avenger

by Tania885



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Brainwashing, Brother-Sister Relationships, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, F/M, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Kidnapping, Lost Love, Loving Marriage, M/M, Making Love, Memory Loss, Overprotective Dean Winchester, POV Alternating, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Smut, Super Soldier Serum (Marvel), Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885
Summary: You are an asset to Hydra, along with the Winter Soldier. You have no memories from before Hydra. Neither of you even know your real names.A mission goes wrong, you and the Winter Soldier get captured by the people you were sent to kill.Why does the man with the bow and arrow keep insisting you are his wife? Then two lumberjack looking men show up saying they are your older brothers.The youngest Winchester left her family for the Avenger she fell in love with.Years later her and Bucky are captured by Hydra during a recon mission and were never seen again. A year later they reemerge but they aren't themselves.There's bad blood between the Winchester's and Clint Barton. Can they put their differences aside to help the woman they all care about?And can her and Bucky be forgiven for the things they did while under Hydra's control?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Clint Barton/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 5
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm saddened by Supernatural ending. And I'm still on a Marvel kick. So I decided to write a fic combining both.
> 
> Also this fic isn't following any specific timeline for Supernatural or Avengers.

CHAPTER 1

It’s cold. You’re so very cold, and your entire body is shivering. The cold is soon forgotten when the pain strikes. The only sounds you hear are screams. It’s your screams, but you also hear an echo of another. There’s a man screaming close by. The pain feels never ending, as it rages on you wish for the cold to come back instead. When the pain stops as does the screaming. It’s only quiet for a brief moment before someone starts speaking. As he says the words your mind starts to cloud, and you feel like you are losing all control. 

“Желание” _(Longing)_

“Ржавый” _(Rusted)_

“Семнадцать” _(Seventeen)_

“Рассвет” _(Daybreak)_

“Печь” _(Furnace)_

“Девять” _(Nine)_

“Добросердечный” _(Benign)_

“Возвращение на родину” _(Homecoming)_

“Один” _(One)_

“Товарный вагон” _(Freight car)_

“Доброе утро, солдаты.” _(Good Morning, Soldiers)_

You look directly in front of you at the man speaking to you, and give him the response he seeks without thought. “ _Готовы соответствовать.” (Ready to comply)_

You hear your own words echoed and look to your left. The man you recall as only Soldat ( _soldier)_ is sitting in a position identical to you. He gives you the same cold blank stare you give him in return. You turn your head back to the man in charge. He hands both you and Soldat files. “I have a mission for each of you. Seize and extract the required objects in your files. Your compliance will be rewarded.”

Without a word you and Soldat put on your gear and head to your separate destinations after reviewing your files. 

It’s nightfall when you reach the building your target is inside. It’s a large building that says STARK on the side. Going to the back door you kick it open with ease using your strength. Walking through the empty halls of the facility you hear a noise. Without hesitation you draw your weapon, turn and shoot a security guard between the eyes. Feeling no emotions as the body drops to the floor you turn back to your task.

You find the vault and throw a grenade at the vault door as you run down the hall to stay out of the blasting distance. Once it explodes you throw the vault door out of your way and enter it quickly grabbing the box containing your target. 

As you are exiting the vault you hear another sound. So you draw your weapon again and shoot. There’s a person holding a metal shield with a star in the center and your bullets just ricochet off of it with every shot.

You must complete your mission. So you go to a stairwell and run to the roof. The man with the shield is as fast as you, easily keeping up with you. 

He throws his shield at you as you’re running across the rooftop trying to knock you over. You turn and catch it with one hand, and also get a glimpse of his uniform that matches his shield. You go to throw it back at him but someone flies above you wearing something on his back with wings. You throw the shield as his back and he loses power and falls to the ground. 

The man with the shield used the distraction to tackle you to the ground. You grab him by his throat and throw him off of you. He knocks your mask off in the process. He looks you straight in the eyes as he jumps back to his feet. His eyes are wide with shock. “(Y/N)?!”

He says a name but it means nothing to you. You draw another weapon and take a shot at him. He stumbles back to dodge the bullet giving you just enough time to pick your target up and jump off the roof and disappear into the darkness.

As you're running you can still hear his voice. "Doll, please comeback. (Y/N) wait!"

You return to the man in charge and hand him the box. He praises you for successfully completing your mission. “Good girl. Very good. Soldat has already returned from his mission. As your reward the two of you may stay together tonight.”

“Thank you sir.”

You promptly leave his side and walk through the facility towards Soldat’s sleeping quarters. Once the two of you have been awake long enough some emotions start coming back to you. Mostly anger and confusion. You take out your frustrations on each other to deal with these emotions. 

As you enter his quarters you take your tactical vest off and your boots. He already has his shirt off when he jumps up off the bed looking at you with his cold blue eyes as he unbuckles his belt. You can see his scars around where his metal prosthetic left arm meets his skin. 

Without a word he quickly yanks your pants and underwear off. Then he lifts you by your thighs, slamming your back against the cold cement wall. You wrap your legs around him and without any preparation he shoves his hard cock inside you all the way in one swift motion. It burns and makes you moan next to his ear. 

His metal hand is icy cold compared to his flesh hand that feels hot. He painfully digs his fingers into your thighs and starts mercilessly pounding into you. You run your nails down his back clawing at his skin leaving deep marks. 

He increases the speed of his hard thrusts making you moan louder. Then you bite down hard on his flesh shoulder. He growls in response and puts his flesh hand around your throat slamming your head back against the wall. 

You can feel yourself on the edge. He knows when you start moving your hips in sync with his. You can also tell he’s close as his thrusts begin to get sloppy. 

With his hand still around your throat his slams into you with extra force a couple more times pushing you over the edge. Your eyes roll back and he releases his grip on your throat allowing you to cry out as you come. You push him over the edge with you as your walls tighten and spasm around him. He stops moving his hips as he comes deep inside you. 

His face is buried in your neck and he’s breathing just as heavily as you. He slowly pulls out of you and sets you on the floor. He tucks himself back into his pants. You grab only your underwear and put it back on. Then you climb into bed together. 

He pulls the blanket over both of you as you lay side by side facing each other. Your demeanor is the opposite to how you were just treating each other moments ago. He leans forward and kisses you gently on the lips. Then wraps his arm around you pulling you to his chest.

“Goodnight Malen’kiy” _(little one)._ He whispers with his chin resting on top of your head.

“Goodnight Soldat.” You whisper back quietly.

You don’t know your real name, or anything about yourself before Hydra. And neither does Soldat. But you always have this feeling that you’re forgetting something or someone. The only thing you can picture is blue eyes. But not Soldat’s blue eyes, the ones you imagine are different. It’s more like bluish green. They mean something important.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is going to have alternating points of view, and flashback chapters. I haven't written anything this way before so I'm hoping it turns out okay.

CHAPTER 2

  
  


Steve paces back and forth in Tony’s lab anxiously as he waits for Tony to locate surveillance footage. Natasha looks at Steve with concern. “Are you really sure it was her?”

Steve sighs in annoyance and answers the question again for what feels like the hundredth time. “I am one hundred percent positive it was her. But she didn’t recognize me, and didn’t respond when I said her name. And she’s strong, as strong as me. I’m pretty sure Hydra made her into a super soldier.”

Sam sulks as he looks at his now destroyed jet pack. Natasha looks at Sam for confirmation. He shrugs his shoulders in response. “It was dark from my angle so I couldn’t see her face. She knocked me out of the sky real quick like. But the height and her frame matched. Shouldn’t we call Barton in here for this?”

Natasha frowns. “Absolutely not. Not until we see the video. I don’t want to get his hopes up again. It’s been over a year and he’s still not coping very well.” 

Tony claps his hands to get their attention. “Okay kids here we go. Let's see who blew up half of my warehouse.”

Thankfully Tony’s excessive amount of surveillance cameras came in handy. He has cameras at every angle at that facility, including the rooftop. They watch the footage from inside the warehouse. It’s obviously a woman. She seems to know right where she’s going, and kills a security guard along the way. Her face can’t be seen from the footage inside because her face was covered with a mask. So Tony pulls up the footage from the roof and watches the fight with Steve. He freezes the frame just after Steve knocks the mask off her face.

Steve huffs in annoyance and frustration. “I told you it was her.” The rest of them look at the image on the screen in shock. Steve puts his hands on his hips and bites his lip. “Was there anyone else in the surveillance?”

Tony gives Steve an apologetic look. “There’s no sign of Barnes. I’m sorry Cap. It’s only the two of you and our missing girl here.”

Natasha puts her hand on Steve’s shoulder. “That doesn’t necessarily mean anything Steve. They were taken together. So maybe they are just holding him somewhere. Obviously they kept (Y/N) locked and hidden away because we’ve seen no sign of her until now.”

The four of them are so caught up in their conversation and the image on the screen no one hears Clint approaching. 

“Oh my god she’s alive!” 

Everyone turns when they hear Clint’s voice. He has a hand over his mouth and his eyes are watering. He stops directly in front of the large computer screen just staring at the image. Then he turns around full of rage. “I told you! I told all of you she was still alive. I could feel it! No one believed me except for Steve! Where was this? When was this? Was Barnes with her?”

Natasha tries to get Clint to calm down long enough for Steve to explain what happened.

He tries to stop himself from spiraling out of control again, which happens often. He leans on the table taking a few deep breaths. Once he’s calm enough Steve explains how him and Sam went to check out Tony’s warehouse after an alarm was triggered and the events that followed. 

Clint just looks at Steve in shock once he finishes his story. He runs his hands through his hair a couple times and takes some calming breaths. “Are…..you…….are you sure she’s a super soldier now?”

Steve nods his head. “I’m pretty sure. She was as strong as me. If I had just been a regular guy I think she would have broken my neck with just one hand. And if you watch the surveillance she kicked a steel door open without much effort.” Steve pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. “Clint, I think her brothers should know she’s alive. I can call them for you if you want.”

Clint shakes his head. “Thank you but no she’s my wife. I’ll call them. And I’m sorry Steve I know this is hard on you too with your husband missing. There was no sign of him?”

Steve looks at Clint with sadness in his own eyes. “No, but like Natasha said. Maybe he’s being held somewhere, like they must have been doing with her. I’m not going to give up. So let’s find (Y/N) and maybe she can lead us to Bucky.”

Clint nods his head in agreement. He holds his phone up. “I just need to make a difficult phone call first.” 

Everyone understands and files out of the room to give him some privacy except for Natasha. She walks over to him and gives him a hug. “I’m sorry. I immediately assumed the worst when she went missing. I should have listened to you.”

Clint pulls away from her and wills back his tears. He sighs as he looks at his phone. 

“Which brother are you going to call?” Natasha asks hesitantly. 

“The one that’s not a complete asshole. They both blame me, but Sam will at least hear me out. Dean will just threaten me with violent pain and suffering. As if I’m not suffering already.”

Natasha pats him on the back, wishing him luck and leaves him to make his call to his brother in laws Sam and Dean Winchester. 

Clint replays the surveillance video over and over first. He decided to watch the video alone and then force himself to call. 

He pauses the video when there’s a clear image of your face. He runs his fingers across your face on the computer screen. “I knew you were still alive baby. I’ll find you. I promise.”

You went out on what was supposed to be a simple recon mission with Bucky just over a year ago. It turned out to be a trap and you were both captured by Hydra and there’s been no trace of either of you since. 

Clint promised your brothers he would take care of you. So when he had to call and tell them what happened they blamed him, and still do. 

He’s been head over heels in love with you since the night he first talked to you. And his heart has ached since the day he lost you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is a flashback

CHAPTER 3

_ Flashback - The day Clint and the reader first met. _

  
  


_ Dean hands you another beer, and you hold onto his as he takes his turn at the pool table. “So sweetheart if I win you have to wash baby for a month.” You scoff at him and roll your eyes. “Fine, but if I win I get to drive baby all the way home.”  _

_ Dean laughs and shakes his head at you. “Ya I’m definitely not letting you win this time.” _

_ Let me win? What a jerk. “Okay fine, but when I’m washing your car tomorrow I’m going to have the hot guy that keeps checking me out watch. And I’ll do it in my short shorts that you hate.” Dean slips messing up his shot, shooting the cue into a corner pocket. He stands up straight looking for any guy that dares check out his baby sister. “What guy?! I’m gonna rip his throat out!”  _

_ Sam is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed just watching, shaking his head at the two of you. He knows you’re just messing with Dean. _

_ You shove your beer in Dean’s hand. “Oh too bad Dee. You messed up your shot. My turn.” Dean turns his narrowed eyes back to you and points at you grumpily. “That’s cheating and you know it.”  _

_ You ignore your big brother’s tantrum. “Eight ball side pocket.” As the ball falls into the pocket you jump up and down victoriously. Sam high fives you and you smile at Dean smugly. “Looks like I’m driving home tomorrow.” _

_ Dean looks to Sam for help. Sam just shakes his head. “Hey she won fair and square. Not her fault you're an overprotective brute.”  _

_ “If she’s driving then I need something stronger to drink than beer.” Dean stomps off to the bar, to get what you assume will be whiskey.  _

_ Sam grabs your wrist gently just so you don’t get lost in the crowd. The bar is really full since it’s a Friday night. He pulls you along behind him until you get towards the back of the bar where there’s a table. He releases you once you're through the crowd, and you sit down at the table together. Both of you see Dean flirting with some skanky blonde chick at the bar. You groan and roll your eyes. “Dean won’t be staying at the motel tonight.” _

_ Sam just grunts in agreement. He’s only half listening because a dark haired skanky girl is making a beeline towards him. “Be right back.” He mutters to you. You roll your eyes once again. “Sure ya will. Looks like I’m alone at the motel tonight.” Then you remember there’s a bathtub. You can have the bathroom all to yourself without Dean yelling at you for using all the hot water. _

_ You’re about to get up, but you look around for Dean first. If you don’t tell him you’re leaving he’ll freak out thinking you were kidnapped or something ridiculous. As you're looking around you lock eyes with a guy across the bar. He’s extremely handsome and gives you a small smile. There’s also something familiar about him, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You hear Dean’s laughter and look away just for a second. When you look back he’s gone. “Dammit. Guess I will be alone tonight.” _

_ You push your way through the crowd until you find Dean who’s leaning against the bar giving the skanky girl some cheesy pick up lines. You tug on his jacket to get his attention. “Dee I’m going back to the motel.” _

_ The one thing you love most about Dean. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing. He’ll drop everything and give you one hundred percent of his attention. He sets his whiskey down and puts his hands on your shoulders. “You okay sweetheart?” _

_ “I’m fine. I realized both you and Sam will be busy this evening. That means I have the bathtub all to myself. I’m going to take full advantage of it.” He gives you a bright smile now that he knows you're okay. He kisses your forehead. “Okay stay in the motel. I’ll see you in the morning.” You nod and kiss his cheek.  _

_ On your way out you look around for the hot guy. What Dean doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You're a grown woman and have needs too dammit. Unfortunately you don’t see hot guy anywhere. Looks like you're taking care of your needs alone. _

_ It's dark outside, thankfully the motel is conveniently right next to the bar. Probably why Dean chose it. So you walk the short distance to the motel. The entire time you get the feeling that you're being watched. But it doesn't feel like the creepy monster in the dark kind of watching. You try to look all around but don’t see anyone or anything so you go inside your motel room. _

_ As you’re gathering your things to go take your bath you still can’t shake the feeling of being watched. Your brothers taught you to trust your instincts so you climb out the bathroom window, and stick to the shadows outside. Across the street there’s an empty building, you can see a shadow on the roof. Then you realize why hot guy's face was so familiar.  _

_ You sneak your way across the street in the darkness and silently climb up onto the rooftop. He hears you approaching and draws an arrow pointing it at you with his bow. You hold your hands up. “Easy now, I’m not armed.” _

_ He moves from the shadows and under the moonlight you can see his handsome face again. “Why would you come up here unarmed?” He asks you with confusion.  _

_ “Well I saw this hot guy in the bar, and he looked familiar. I couldn’t figure out where I had seen this guy’s face before. But once I saw him lurking on the rooftop with a bow I figured it out. So I came to ask a question, not fight. Why is Hawkeye watching the Winchesters?” _

_ He lowers his bow and looks at you with amusement. He extends his hand. “My name’s Clint Barton.” You shake his hand and smile. “I’m (Y/N) Winchester. But I’m guessing you already know that.” _

_ You sit down on the roof and pat the spot next to you. “You still haven’t answered my first question Clint Barton. I’ve got all night. My brothers are otherwise occupied.” You say with a smile. _

_ He sits down next to you and lays his bow beside him. “You’re good, I’ll give you that. I don’t normally get caught. Well your family has been on Shield’s radar for a while. I was actually sent to kill all of you. But as I'm watching you, it just doesn't seem right. You’re so beautiful and full of life, you don’t look like a vicious killer to me. So I couldn’t do it. Your brothers I still hadn’t decided.” _

_ You just have a feeling, a vibe you're getting from him that he's not actually a threat to you or your brothers. So you decide to give it to him straight and give him the monsters are real talk. And you explain the family business, hunting monsters and saving people. Once you’re done explaining what you and your brothers do he nods his head. “Well looks like I made the right call going with my gut.” _

_ You look at him incredulously. “Really? Just like that? You accept monsters are real?” He laughs and you realize you really like his laugh and how adorable he looks when he smiles.  _

_ “Yes, just like that. I’m sure you saw on the news last year I was fighting aliens in New York. So monsters aren't that far fetched. I’ll keep you and your brothers off Shield’s books. I won’t let them send any other agents after you.” _

_ You look at him and bite your lip. His eyes drop to your mouth as you do it. “Thank you Clint. So, do you really think I’m beautiful?” _

_ “Why yes I do. I wouldn’t lie to you.” _

_ “You’re not so bad yourself there handsome.” He gives you a shy smile. “I like you, there’s just something about you. Would you punch me in the face if I try to kiss you?” _

_ You bite your lip again, and shake your head no. He puts one hand on your face and uses his thumb to free your bottom lip. Then he leans in and gently presses his lips to yours. You move your lips against his and wish for this moment to never end. When he eventually breaks the kiss he’s giving you a bright smile. “You said your brothers are busy. Will you stay for a while?” _

_ You stayed on that roof for hours talking to him about anything and everything. When it's almost dawn you decide you better get back to the motel before your brothers. “I need to get back. Dean will stroke out if I’m not there.” _

_ Clint’s face falls a little. “Can I see you again?” _

_ “I would really like that, but Dean won’t. He’s really overprotective because he’s basically been taking care of me since I was a baby. He practically raised me and Sam. Our mom died and our dad was a piece of shit. So he’s more like a dad than a brother sometimes. So what I’m trying to say is if you think I’m worth the trouble I’ll see you again, but I can’t let Dean find out.” _

_ Clint leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips. “It’s not trouble because you’re worth it.” _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint calls his brother in law. Queue dramatic music.

CHAPTER 4

  
  


Clint takes a deep breath as he holds his thumb over Sam Winchester’s phone number. He’s praying Dean doesn’t answer. Dean has hated him since the day he found out about him, and loathed him since the day he took you away and you joined the Avengers.

He finally works up the nerve to press the call button and waits with bated breath as it rings. 

  
  
  


Sam sees a name flashing on his phone he never expected to see again. Dean is sitting next to him in the war room at the bunker and sees the name flashing on the screen. He’s instantly filled with rage. The same rage he felt when he found out his baby sister was gone. “Why the fuck is that piece of shit calling you?”

Sam shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know Dean. But I guess I’ll find out.” Sam answers the call, but before he can even say hello Dean starts yelling. “You tell that piece of shit I’m going to tear his throat out with my teeth if I ever see him again.”

Sam ignores Dean’s outburst that he knows Clint clearly heard. “What do you want Clint?”

Clint lets out a sigh, likely from Dean’s unsurprising threats. “She’s alive.” 

Sam perks up at those two words. “Hang on I’m putting you on speaker.” Dean goes to protest and yell some more but Sam shushes him. “Okay you have both of us now. Are you sure she’s alive?” Dean also perks up with a glimmer of hope hearing those two little words.

“Yes. There was a break in at one of Stark’s facilities. Steve and Sam went to check it out. She fought with Steve. She didn’t recognize him, or her name when he said it, and she ran off. I just emailed you the surveillance video and the freeze frame where you can see her.”

Sam fumbles around as he tries to open his laptop to pull up his email. “Why didn’t Steve stop her? She knows how to fight, but he’s a super soldier. He can easily overpower her.”

“Well if you watch the video you’ll understand. Steve thinks Hydra made her a super soldier. So basically what they did to Bucky they did to her. She probably has no idea who she is. She killed a security guard, and tried to kill Steve. We both know she would never shoot someone in cold blood like that. And Steve is one of her closest friends. She would never hurt him.”

Dean’s blood starts boiling. “You son of a bitch. You guys had her and then lost her again! And because of you she’s been turned into a fucked up science experiment!” Sam turns his laptop towards Dean and it shuts him up as he watches his baby sister shoot an innocent man in the head. Then fights with a super soldier without breaking a sweat. He can see it's her but it’s also not her. The look on her face is cold, vacant of emotions. The complete opposite of his sister. Dean’s eyes start to water and he replays the video. 

Sam takes the phone off speaker so he can talk to Clint. “How long ago was this? And where was this?”

“Just a couple hours ago. It was here in New York at one of Tony’s warehouses. Not far from the tower actually. That’s how they got there so fast.”

“Was Bucky with her? What did she steal from the vault?”

“No, there was no sign of him. She was by herself from the looks of it. And I don’t know what was in the case. I didn’t get a chance to ask Tony, it wasn’t really a priority for me.”

Sam's line of questioning gets interrupted by Dean. “Sammy! We’re leaving now! We’re bringing our sister home.” Deam storms off to grab his stuff Sam’s assuming. “I guess we’re headed that way. Text me if anything else happens or you find out anything else.”

“Will do.” Then they both disconnect the call.

Sam and Dean are driving off in baby within minutes. There’s an awkward silence as Dean’s driving double the speed limit. “Dean, the good news is she's alive. So we'll find her, and worry about the rest later. Okay?”

“Sammy I don’t understand. We did every tracking spell, locating spell, found every psychic or mind reader, even tortured Crowley and came up with nothing for months. She didn't pray to Cas, not once. No sign of her at all. So if she’s alive why couldn’t we find her?”

Sam runs a hand through his long hair. “I don’t know Dean. I’m just as stumped as you are. Hydra has their hand in the supernatural as well. They must have found a way to hide her. And if she doesn’t remember who she is she wouldn’t remember Cas. And speaking of Cas we should tell him too. He was just as devastated as us.”

“If you want to tell him fine. I’m not calling him.”

Sam rolls his eyes in annoyance. Cas stops him from doing something stupid and Dean wants to be mad at him for it. 

  
  


Clint walks out of Tony's lab to go join the rest of the team. They were all brainstorming, but went silent when he walked into the room. 

Steve breaks the awkward silence. "How did it go?"

"Like I expected. Dean threatened to tear my throat out with his teeth, and called me some names. You know, the usual. Sam listened, and asked questions. And apparently they are on their way here. Can’t hardly wait."

Clint is then reminded about the question Sam asked that no one else has. "Hey Tony what did she take from the vault?"

Tony tries deflecting the question by talking to Jarvis about search parameters for the facial recognition software. Maybe they can catch you on camera now that they have a starting point.

Steve crosses his arms over his chest. "Tony what did you have that Hydra wanted?"

"Okay fine. Before Thor left for Asgard with Loki and the Tesseract I harnessed some of the power from the Tesseract. It's kind of a lower powered copy of the Tesseract. But it behaved unpredictably so I locked it up until I could figure out how to destroy it."

Steve lunges at Tony before Clint can get to him himself. He grabs Tony and shoves him against the wall. "If we lost Bucky and (Y/N) over this thing you're going to be very sorry because you'll finally get to see my dark side."

Clint balls his hands into fists. “Now we have to fucking figure out what Hydra plans to do with that thing on top of finding (Y/N) and Bucky. Great job Stark.”

Steve releases a very guilty looking Tony, almost knocking to the floor. Then promptly leaves the room with Clint to try and find a way to get their spouses back home.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The Commander summons you and Soldat at the early hours of the morning. He’s not the same man that woke you from the cold. This is his boss.

When you enter the room he looks directly at you. "Mission report."

You are not understanding, your mission was successful. And you tell him as much. "My mission was successfully completed. Nothing to report."

The Commander looks displeased with your response. He swiftly stands up and walks towards you. Once he's standing in front of you he slaps you across the face. "Mission report now!" 

You see Soldat's arm twitch after you were struck. You tell him with your eyes not to retaliate. When you disobey or misbehave they seperate the two of you as punishment.

You forgot you still haven't responded. The Commander grabs your face with one hand. "Who did you encounter on your mission?"

"On my way to the vault there was a security guard, I terminated him. After I retrieved the package a man with a shield came after me. We fought on the roof. There was another man with a jetpack with wings, I disabled him with the other man's shield and escaped with the package."

He releases your face. "Did you know these men?"

"No sir."

You are not sure how to interpret the way he looks at you. Amusement perhaps? "Very good. I have a target for both of you. I want confirmed kills in 24 hours." 

He hands each of you a folder with your targets and you both exit the room without a word.

You and Soldat leave to get your gear. Before you both start getting ready he gently puts his flesh hand on your face and examines where you were struck.

"I'm fine. It was like getting slapped by a small child." 

That makes him crack a small smile at you. After you've been awake, out of the frozen chamber for a few days emotions besides anger start coming back to both of you.

Both of you review your files. Seems your targets are located in the same building. Yours is the man with the star shield. Soldat's is a man who has a bow and arrow in all his photos. All the photos are black and white. You wish they had color. You alway look to see if they have eyes that match the ones from your dreams.

The building your targets are in is a large tower. So you scope out nearby tall buildings to use your sniper rifles from. You find the perfect location and will come back when it's dark to complete your missions.

You're riding on the back of a motorcycle with Soldat going back to Hydra headquarters. Suddenly an arrow hits the motorcycle and it loses power. You both climb off and reach for your weapons. But before you are able to you're both hit with arrows and you start feeling drowsy falling to the ground. Then everything goes black.

When you wake your head hurts. You let out a groan and crack your eyes open. Then you remember what happened and quickly sit upright to take in your surroundings. Looks like you're in a prison cell. And alone, no Soldat. You pat yourself down and find out all of your weapons have been removed.

You turn your head and look through the barred cell door and see Soldat's target sitting in a chair watching you. You cock your head to the side and look back at him. He's not your target, but he's still a mission that needs completed.

"Do you know me?" He says with what sounds like sadness in his voice. 

You stand up and move to the cell door wrapping your hands around the bars. The lighting in the room is dim so you can't quite make out his eye color.

He stands up and moves a couple steps closer. "Baby? Are you still in there? Do you recognize me?"

You extend one of your hands like you're reaching for him. He takes the couple steps he needs to reach you. Slowly he puts his hand in yours. You grip his hand tight and pull him hard so his entire body slams into the cell door. With your other hand you grab him by the throat and squeeze.

"I recognize you are a mission that must be completed!"

Suddenly a handful of people come running to his aid. You spot your actual target. He’s not in his uniform this time, and not carrying his shield. You release the hold you have on the man in front of you, dropping him to the floor as soon as your target tries prying your hands away.

You grab your target the same way, yanking his arm roughly toward you and put your other hand around his throat. "You are my mission. I must complete my mission." Suddenly you feel a sharp painful bolt of electricity shoot through your body making you lose your grip and fall backwards. You’re a little dazed, but can hear both men gasping for breath as they walk away from your cell.

Bruce examines Clint to make sure he’s not badly injured. He also gives Steve a quick once over just to be safe. “You’re both probably going to have some bad bruising. Clint, your throat will probably hurt for a while. You’re lucky Steve got to you before she crushed your trachea.”

Clint doesn’t particularly care about himself right now. He’s pacing back and forth, occasionally rubbing his sore throat and neck. “What did she mean by us being missions that need completed?”

Steve crosses his arms over his chest. “A few years back in Washington DC when I first found out Bucky was still alive he said something similar to me. Hydra had given him a mission to kill me. So it sounds like she was supposed to kill me, and Bucky was supposed to kill you.”

Natasha looks appalled. “Is this like a sick fucking joke Hydra is playing? Make them kill each other’s spouses?”

Clint covers his face with his hands and takes a deep breath. “Steve did you get anywhere with Bucky? Did he recognize you?”

Steve shakes his head with sadness evident on his face. “No, he was similar to her, very angry and confused.”

“She didn’t recognize me at all. And I don’t recognize her either. That’s not my wife in there. How did you get Bucky to snap out of this the first time you found him?”

Steve moves across the room walking towards Clint. “I didn’t. It took me a while to find him again. By the time I did he had been away from Hydra long enough that some of his memories started coming back. We’ll just have to keep trying. It’s going to take some time.”

Sam claps Clint on the shoulder. “Everyone knows that girl is head over heels madly in love with you. Just like you are for her. She’ll come back to you man.”

Clint just nods his head since he’s at a loss for words. He goes for a walk to try clearing his head. He just wants his wife back. The funny, smart, sweet and smart mouthed, beautiful woman he fell in love with. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is a flashback.

CHAPTER 6

_ Flashback _

  
  


_ You down another beer and internally sigh to yourself. You love your brothers but you wish they would just go pick up some bar skanks already.  _

_ The Winchesters just finished another successful hunt, took out a nest of vampires. So as per usual you and your brothers go to the bar to celebrate.  _

_ You text Clint that you were in New Jersey and he was ecstatic since it wouldn’t take him long to get to you. You’ve been secretly seeing him for several months. When you go out on a hunt or he goes on a mission you text each other your whereabouts. He comes and meets you whenever he can. _

_ Dean is sitting next to you in a booth, Sammy is sitting across from you. Dean nudges your shoulder with his. “What’s with the poop face?” You crack a smile. “I don’t have a poop face.” _

_ “Uh huh. You still mad I didn’t let you gank the last vamp?” _

_ You scowl at him. “Well it was kind of rude. He grabbed my ass, I wanted to take his head off myself.” _

_ “Well he touched my baby sister. I saw red and finished the job.” Dean finishes his beer and ignores you glaring at him.  _

_ "I keep telling you I'm not a baby anymore. Haven't been for a very long time." _

_ "And I keep telling you I don't care you will always be my baby sister. So deal with it." _

_ Someone turns a song on the jukebox. Dean smiles at you mischievously. He doesn’t give you time to ask any questions as he’s pulling you out of the booth. He drags you out to the dance floor and starts dancing with you playfully as he embarrassingly sings along with the song. He’s such a dork you can’t help but laugh. You’re the only person he would do something like this for. _

_ When he sees you smiling and laughing he smiles triumphantly at you. “There’s my girl. Knew I could put a smile back on your face.” _

_ “Only because you’re so embarrassingly dorky.” _

_ He twirls you around. "Anything to make you smile sweetheart." _

_ When the song comes to an end Dean throws his arm over your shoulder and walks with you back to the booth. _

_ As you're walking you look across the bar and lock eyes with Clint. Every time you see him you get butterflies in your stomach and your heart starts pounding. _

_ Sam breaks the moment when you get back to the booth. "Nice dance moves Dean." He says sarcastically with a smile. _

_ "Shut up. You're just jealous I dance better than you sasquatch." _

_ "Jerk." _

_ "Bitch." _

_ You decide to interrupt their bickering. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back." Dean waves you off and goes back to his banter with Sam. _

_ You scurry down the hall toward the bathroom. After a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure the boys aren't watching you dart out the side door. The second you're outside a body presses you up against the wall.  _

_ Clint puts both of his hands on your face and crashes his lips into yours. You wrap one arm around his waist and run your fingers through his hair with the other. _

_ When you break apart for air he's giving you a bright smile. "I missed you so much baby." _

_ "I missed you too handsome."  _

_ Then you put a hand on the back of his neck pulling him back down for a kiss. After he thoroughly kisses you until you're breathless he moves his lips along your jaw and down your neck. _

_ "Clint, baby I gotta get back before Dean comes looking for me." _

_ Clint growls against your skin. "Let him." _

_ "He just killed a vampire for touching my ass." _

_ He removes his lips from your neck and frowns. "Well I probably would have too. Wasn't it going to die anyway?" _

_ "Yes. But first he chopped off its hands, then arms. Then finally the head. He made it suffer first. What do you think he would do to the guy making out with me?" _

_ Clint groans in frustration. "Fine. I got a room at the motel, room 23. Meet me there as soon as you can." He kisses you once more and reluctantly lets you go.  _

_ When you get back inside Dean looks at you questioningly. You start to internally panic. He puts his hand on your forehead and cheeks. "You okay sweetheart? You look awfully flushed. Are you getting sick?" _

_ Love sick, yes definitely. "Um...no it's just getting warm in here. I'm alright."  _

_ Eventually your brothers find their bar skanks for the evening. You go back to the motel, except you bypass your room and go straight to Clint's. _

_ The second you enter the room the two of you lock your lips together. You fumble around trying to remove your clothes while walking to the bed without breaking the kiss. _

_ You fall onto the bed together laughing against each other's lips.  _

_ As he enters you slowly you wrap your legs around him. You gasp into his mouth. "Clint you feel so good." _

_ "So do you baby."  _

_ As he moves in and out of you slow and deep he alternates from kissing your lips and neck. You love the way he kisses you, and can never get enough. _

_ When you reach your climaxes together he rests his forehead against yours. And you wrap your arms tightly around him never wanting to let him go. _

_ Later on you're laying in bed together. Clint is on his back with an arm wrapped around you, your head is on his bare chest with a hand resting over his heart. _

_ "(Y/N)?" _

_ "Ya baby?" _

_ "How would you feel about meeting my friends? I told them about you and they want to meet you." _

_ You lift your head so you can see his face. "The Avengers want to meet little ole me? I would love to, but I don't know how I would manage that." _

_ Clint sighs. "(Y/N) you can't let your brother control your life forever. You're a grown woman free to make her own choices." _

_ You lay your head back down on his chest. "It's not that simple. You don't understand." _

_ He runs his fingers through your hair and speaks quietly. "Then help me understand baby." _

_ You run your fingertips across his chest as you think what to tell him. Then you take a deep breath. "Several years ago me and Sammy both died. Dean made a demon deal. He traded his soul for our lives to bring us back. Normally demon deals they give 10 years before they collect, they only gave Dean 1 year. When the year was up hellhounds came for him, dragging his soul to hell. Time passes differently in hell. Before Castiel resurrected him he was dead for 4 months. For him in hell it was 40 years. It was 40 years of torture. I'm only alive today because Dean saved me….twice. During the 4 months he was gone me and Sammy didn't deal with it very well. He ran off with a slutty demon and did stupid things and I was left completely alone. I had never been alone. I've always had Dean. So I got depressed and hit a very low point. When Cas saved him the first thing he did was come find me. I was about to do something to make his sacrifice pointless. He stopped me obviously. But when we found Sammy, Dean told him. They both swore to me they would never leave me again." _

_ Clint squeezes you tight, and stays quiet for a few minutes while he takes in everything you said. "Thank you for helping me understand. I'll never give you a hard time about it again. Do you think you could work up to at least telling them about me? Because I'm in love with you and hate not being able to talk to you." _

_ You slowly lift your head and look at him with wide eyes once you realize what he said. You also notice his eyes are watery. He gives you a small smile. "I love you (Y/N)." _

_ You lean up and capture his lips for a passionate kiss. When you break the kiss you smile back at him.  _

_ "I am so in love with you. I love you too Clint." _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens when the Winchester's reunite?

CHAPTER 7

  
  


You're sitting on the floor of the cell with your back against the wall staring through the cell door. You are looking for escape routes and trying to come up with a way to get the door to your cell unlocked.

The sound of footsteps approaching reaches your ears. They stop a safe distance away from the door. You can see it's Soldat's target, he came back again. He pulls up a chair and sits facing you.

When he doesn't speak you break the silence. "Where is Soldat?"

He looks at you confusingly. "Soldat? That means soldier right? The man you were with, his name is Bucky. He's in a different cell somewhere else in the building. Do you know your name?"

You shake your head no.

"Your name is (Y/N) Barton. Your maiden name was Winchester."

You cock your head to the side and frown. That's the same name the man with the shield called you. But it still means nothing to you. When you don't respond he continues talking.

"My name is Clint Barton and I'm your husband. We've been married 6 years, but you've been missing for a year. You and Bucky were captured by Hydra on a mission and we couldn't find you."

He's just trying to confuse you. Stop you from completing your mission. 

"Liar!"

He just sighs, seemingly unsurprised by your response. "Thought you might say that. So I have proof."

He pulls something from his pocket and slips it through the cell door and quickly backs away. "Go on, pick it up. It's just a picture. A picture of us together."

You lean forward on your knees but keep your eyes on his. The lighting is still too dim to make out the color. You grab the photo and slide back to your original position against the wall. 

You flip the picture over and look at it. You gasp and cover your mouth with your hand. It is a picture of you with him but that's not the cause of your reaction. It's his eyes. It's the same eyes you always dream about, the ones you've been looking for.

You're not sure how long you stare at his eyes in the photo for. When you go to say something you hear yelling coming from the other end of the building. Clint holds his hand up. "I'll be right back."

You go back to staring at the photo. You don't understand what this means. It's confusing you. When you're confused the only way you know how to respond is with anger or rage.

The yelling gets closer, and you hear multiple footsteps approaching.

_"Dean, will you wait for a fucking minute so we can explain what's going on? She's still not herself."_

_"Ya and who's goddamn fault is that?! Yours! You son of a bitch I know her better than anyone especially you, you fucking ass hat."_

The man whom you're assuming is Dean stops when he can see into your cell. There's also an extremely tall man next to him. Plus the people that are holding you here.

Dean makes eye contact with you and storms across the room.

Clint yells after him. "Dean! I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

As Dean is walking towards you his jacket flies open and you can see something useful in his pocket. Might as well use this guy to your advantage.

He stops in front of your cell door, the tall guy isn't far behind him. "Sweetheart, you remember me? I'm your big brother Dean. And Sammy here is your brother too."

You make your eyes water with fake tears and walk to the cell door. "Please help me Dean."

He steps closer reaching through the bars for you. "I'm gonna take you home okay baby girl?"

It worked even better that you hoped. You quickly reach through the bars grabbing him roughly by the throat. "Let me out of here or I'll snap his neck!"

With the distraction you reach into his jacket and grab the lock pick set and swiftly stash it in your pocket.

As you expected a jolt of electricity shoots through you causing you to lose your grip and you fall backwards.

Dean is on the floor trying to catch his breath. When people try helping him he gets angry and storms out of the room.

Once everyone is gone you pull the lock pick out and free yourself from your prison.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Clint finally have words with each other.

CHAPTER 8

  
  


Dean grabs Clint by the shirt collar and shoves him against the wall. "That's not my baby sister! What did you people do to her?!"

"I was starting to get through to her! Until you barged in like a fucking bull in a china shop!" 

"Dean! That's enough. They didn't do this, put him down. Hurting him isn't going to help her." Sam puts his hand on his brother's shoulder. 

Dean releases Clint. "Ya, well it will help me."

Sam ignores his brother and looks at Clint. "What do you mean you were starting to get through to her?"

Clint glares at Dean for a moment longer before turning his attention to Sam. "She talked a little. She wanted to know where Bucky was, but she called him Soldat. They don't know each other's names. Then I told her what her name is and who I was. She said I was lying so I gave her a picture of us. She was staring at it a long time. I think she might have recognized something. But I didn't get a chance to find out thanks to your brother."

Sam looks like he's thinking. Dean on the other hand never thinks before he speaks. 

"Maybe you should have shown her a picture of her real fucking family! Did you tell her she's a Winchester?! Or did you conveniently leave that part out!"

Clint narrows his eyes at Dean. He's so done with Dean's shit. "I told her both names fuck you very much. And why would I show her a picture of someone that hasn't seen or spoken to her in 7 years?! You act all high and mighty but you're the one that abandoned her and broke her heart you asshole!"

Dean lunges at Clint, but Clint gets one good swing in connecting with Dean's face before Steve and Sam break them up.

Steve stands between them. "Both of you walk it off! Like Sam said this isn't going to help her."

Dean rips his arm away from Sam and leaves the room. Clint goes and leans against a wall and takes a few deep breaths to calm down.

Steve looks between Sam and Clint. "I need to go check on Bucky. Can you two handle yourselves?"

They both just nod their heads in silent agreement. Sam and Clint sit in awkward silence for a few minutes until Sam breaks the silence.

"Just out of curiosity why does Stark have jail cells in this facility?"

"They're prototypes made out of vibranium. Him and Banner were trying to find something that could contain the Hulk if he got out of control. Which came in handy for two angry super soldiers apparently."

Sam nods his head in understanding. As he paces around he runs his fingers through his hair a couple times. "Listen Clint, I know realistically when her and Barnes went missing it wasn't your fault. It's just I took her side in the fallout she had with Dean and kind of entrusted you with her. Then it's like it came back to bite me later."

"It's alright, I blame myself anyway. I was supposed to go on that mission, but Tony had a party the night before. I drank way too much and she knew I was going to have a bad hangover. That girl can drink like a fish and never has a hangover the next day. When I woke up the next morning she left me a note saying she took my place since I can't hold my liquor and I owed her pie and a foot rub when she got back."

Sam cracks a small smile. "Ya that sounds like her. As much as I wish my sister wasn't made into a super soldier I know she'd be heartbroken and in your place right now if you had gone instead of her."

"Ya I know. Hey I was thinking, do you think Cas can fix her and Bucky's memory?"

Sam nods his head. "I'm hoping so. I left him a message on the way, but he hasn't called me back. Him and Dean had a fight, but I know he'd come to help (Y/N). So I'm not sure what he's doing."

Clint rolls his eyes. Leave it to Dean Winchester to pick a fight with an Angel. 

Suddenly Natasha comes running into the room looking panicked, which is a rare occurrence. "She escaped."

Clint's heart drops. Why can't anything go right for him? He just wants his wife back. Is that really too much to ask? 

"How Nat? The entire cell is made of vibranium."

"Apparently Dean keeps a lock pick set in his coat pocket. She picked his pocket and let herself out once the room was empty."

Clint balls his hands into fists. "That's it! He's a fucking dead man walking!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Sam and Dean find out about Clint

CHAPTER 9

_ Flashback  _

_ You're pacing back and forth outside Sammy's bedroom door. Dean went on a beer run. You're working up the courage to tell him about Clint. He will be far easier to tell than Dean. But you're afraid he might tell Dean. _

_ "(Y/N) are you coming in or are you just going to annoy me with your pacing until Dean gets home?" _

_ You sigh and slump your shoulders. It's now or never. You slowly open the door and peak your head in sheepishly. Sammy quirks an eyebrow at you. He closes his laptop and pats the space next to him on his bed. _

_ You hop onto his bed. But your mind is racing and your fiddling nervously with your fingers. Sam breaks the silence when he realizes you won't. _

_ "Did you decide to come clean about who you've been texting 24/7?" _

_ Your eyes go wide and your mouth drops open. Sam laughs and puts a finger under your chin to close your mouth. _

_ "Just because Dean buys into your nonsense excuse that you're playing crosswords on your phone doesn't mean I was fooled too. I knew you were lying because how overprotective Dean is. I figured you would tell me eventually. So who is he?" _

_ You smile and bite your lip. You're also pretty sure you're blushing. "His name is Clint Barton." _

_ "Someone looks smitten. Why does that name sound familiar?" _

_ "Well….most people know him as Hawkeye….." _

_ Now it's Sam's turn for his eyes go wide and his mouth to drop open. You laugh and do what he did to you and put a finger under chin to close his mouth. "The Avenger? How and when did you meet an Avenger and neither of us notice?" _

_ "Remember the skinwalker case in New Mexico?" _

_ "That was like 7 or 8 months ago. You're good. That's a long time to hide a secret that huge." _

_ You chuckle. "Ya well I'm actually only telling you because he asked me to. He's tired of having to sneak around. Anyway the night before we left town I caught him spying on us, and ended up talking to him all night long. You and Dean were otherwise engaged at the time so you didn't know I wasn't in our room at all that night." _

_ Sam points a finger at you. "I knew it! I knew you weren't really hungover that morning. Wait, why was he spying on us?" _

_ "Apparently the Winchester's ended up on Shield's radar. He was sent to kill us. He said after watching me he couldn't kill me, but he hadn't decided on you and Dean yet. So I gave him the talk and explained our family business. He's kept Shield off us ever since and makes sure they don't send any other agents." _

_ Sam stays quiet for what feels like forever. You're worried he's upset with you now. "Sammy?" _

_ "Sorry, just wow. That's crazy. So do I get to thank him or what?" _

_ You smile wide at him. He's such an awesome brother. "Well how pissed do you think Dean is going to be? He wants to meet both of you officially, and I guess his friends want to meet me. But I gotta deal with Dean first." _

_ "His friends, like the Avengers? That's actually pretty exciting. But Dean is going to blow a gasket. Like we'll have to make sure he's not armed when you tell him. I know you're a grown woman, but Dean refuses to see you that way." _

_ You let out a dramatic groan and lean your head against Sam's shoulder. He pats you on the head and chuckles. “Does he make you happy?” _

_ You nod your head against Sam’s shoulder. “Ya, he does. I really like him.” _

_ "How about this, I'll get Dean out for a night so you can go meet his friends. But you have to tell him about Clint when we get back?" _

_ You perk up and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "Thank you! Thank you! You're the best!" _

  
  


_ A couple days later Sam true to his word gets Dean out of the bunker. He finds an easy haunting case. You fake sick and Sam says Cas will stay with you. Except Sam never called Cas. _

_ Dean checks on you like ten times before he finally agrees to leave. _

_ "Sweetheart, are you sure? I can call another hunter to take the case." _

_ "I'm sure Dee. Besides Sam called Cas so he can use his angel mojo and I'll be fine. I'll just teach him strip poker or something to pass the time while you're gone." _

_ "Ha. Ha. Very funny. He knows I'd clip his fucking wings off if he tried anything." _

_ You roll your eyes. He wouldn't try anything. Cas is in love with a Winchester but it most certainly isn't you.  _

_ "Love you Dee. I'll see you when you get back." _

_ He kisses your forehead. "Love you too sweetheart. I'll call and check on you later." _

_ Once your brothers finally leave you hurry to get dressed and pack an overnight bag. Clint is going to meet you at the edge of the property. _

_ You exit the bunker and lock the door behind you. When you turn around Dean is leaning against the hood of the Impala with his arms crossed. Sam comes running through the trees yelling for Dean. He must have kicked Sam out of the car. _

_ Dean pushes himself off baby and walks toward you. "I may be slow to catch on sometimes but I'm not stupid. You have some explaining to do young lady." _

_ You bite your lip and nod your head. This is going to be awful. But might as well get it over with. Sam gives you an apologetic look as Dean drags you back inside the bunker.  _

_ Dean sits you down in a chair in the war room and goes and grabs himself a beer. Sam tries talking to you but Dean shushes him. “Not a peep from you Samsquatch. She’s lying to me and you’re helping her. Did you two dip shits really think I wasn’t going to call Cas myself? Now spill missy.” _

_ “I’m seeing someone.” You whisper out, and hold your breath waiting for Dean to blow his top.  _

_ “Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t quite catch that. Speak up!” _

_ “I’m seeing someone!” _

_ Dean slams his beer down on the table, but immediately picks it back up again and drinks it all down. Then he gets up and leaves. You look at Sam, both of you look full of anxiety now. Dean quickly returns with a bottle of whiskey. He takes a swig from the bottle before pouring himself a glass. After he downs the first glass and pours a second glass he looks at you with narrowed eyes. “Define seeing someone.” _

_ You take a deep breath and internally give yourself a pep talk. You routinely kill monsters that go bump in the night, you can tell your big brother about your boyfriend. _

_ You start from the beginning and tell him everything you told Sam. The night you met him and how he’s been protecting your family in hopes that might earn him a few points with Dean. When you finish telling Dean everything he’s eerily quiet which is actually far worse than him yelling. _

_ Sam tries coming to your aid. “Dean, come on, she’s an adult. And it’s not like she’s putting a regular civilian in danger. He’s an Avenger, he fought aliens. He can handle himself, and he’s kept Shield off our scent.” _

_ You can practically see the steam coming out of Dean's ears. Your phone starts going off at the worst moment. You know without looking that it’s Clint checking on you. You had text him you were on your way when you finished packing your overnight bag. Dean’s already angry face looks furious. “That him calling you?” _

_ You go to silence your phone but Dean’s faster and pulls it out of your hands. He glances at the screen and then answers it. He doesn’t say hello right away, so you can hear Clint’s voice. “Baby, you there? Are you okay?” _

_ “Listen here douche bag she’s not your baby. Now this is what’s going to happen, you're going to get your runt of the litter avenging ass in here and talk to me like a man.” _

_ “Alright, on my way.” _

_ Dean throws your phone down on the table as he stands up. He starts rolling his sleeves up. Your eyes go wide. “Dean! Don’t kill him.” _

_ He gives you a scary humorless laugh. “Don’t worry sweetheart I’m not going to kill him. I think slow torture is the better way to go.” _

_ Just then Clint opens the bunker door and starts walking down the stairs. You forget for a second when you see him that you’re trying to placate your brother, and give him a bright smile. He smiles back at you just as bright.  _

_ “You better wipe that goddamn smile off your face before I do it for you.” Dean growls out.  _

_ That pulls you back to the present and you jump in front of Dean so he would have to physically move you to get to Clint. “Dean, don't hurt him! I’m the one that lied to you, not him. He’s been begging me to tell you and Sam about him. But for the record this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” _

_ You put your hands on Dean’s face and make him look at you instead of the death glare he’s giving Clint. “Please Dee, just give him a chance and talk to him. For me? I hate lying to you, but you don’t give me much choice.” _

_ Dean’s eyes go from rage to sadness. His face softens and his shoulders slump. “Fine. I’ll talk to him under one condition.” _

_ Your face lights up with hope. “Anything.” _

_ “Never, ever, lie to me again.” _

_ You throw your arms around him and hug him tight. “I promise, and I’m sorry for lying. I love you Dee.” He kisses your forehead. “I love you too sweetheart.”  _

_ Before you let him approach Clint you stop him. He gives you a questioning look. “Talking doesn’t require weapons.” _

_ He sighs and rolls his eyes at you. He hands you his gun. But you quirk an eyebrow at him. He huffs at you in annoyance and pulls out three knives and another gun.  _

_ “Happy now?” _

_ You smile triumphantly. “Why yes, yes I am.” _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback continued

CHAPTER 10

_Flashback_  
  


_Cas has his hands on your face. His eyes and hands are glowing bright as you feel his grace flowing through you. You and your brothers just got back to the bunker after ganking some witches. But you all got thrown around in the process._

_They always make Cas heal your first. When he’s done healing you he goes to Dean, but Dean tries to wave him off._

_“Dammit Dean. Let him fucking heal you or me and Sammy will hold you down and make you.”_

_He rolls his eyes at you, but Sam nods his head in agreement. “Fine. Whatever, you’re so damn bossy sometimes. Hurry up Cas.”_

_“I just take after my big brother that raised me.” You sass back to him._

_Cas has a small smile trying to show itself on his face. He puts his hands on Dean and they both do that thing they always do where they just stare at each other. You and Sam call it eye fucking. You both wish Dean would just fess up to his feelings for Cas and let himself be happy. But you’re afraid your father beat that out of Dean a long time ago._

_While they continue their eye fucking session you slip out of the room to go get dressed. Clint is taking you to a party that Tony Stark is having at the Avenger tower tonight. This will be your first party, but you’ve met his friends several times. For super heros they are all surprising down to earth, and you really like all of them. They all seem to like you too. You were afraid Natasha wouldn’t like you, but your fears turned out to be unfounded. The two of you hit it off right away. She had already decided she liked you because you make her best friend so happy._

_You really like Steve and Bucky. They are an adorable couple, and have an epic love story for everything they had to go through to be together._

_Dean still isn’t entirely happy about you dating Clint. He's given Clint a few angry big brother talks, like he'll rip his lungs out if he breaks your heart._

_He’s only tolerating him to make his baby sister happy. But he’s also been trying to keep you busy on hunts so you have less time to spend away._

_Sammy went with you once to meet the Avengers. He nerded out with Bruce and Tony. Dean, however, refused to go. He calls the Avengers super human douche nozzles._

_A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts. “It’s open.” You call out. The door slowly opens revealing a shy smiling angel of the lord. “Hey Cas. What’s up?”_

_He cocks his head to the side, in a very Cas like manner. “What’s up where?” You snort out a laugh. He’s so adorable when he doesn’t understand._

_“I meant what brings you to my room?”_

_"Oh, yes of course. I was just going to say thank you for making Dean allow me to heal him. His injuries were far worse than he was letting on."_

_You scoff. "Ya typical Dean."_

_Cas finally takes in your appearance. "You look beautiful (Y/N). What's the occasion?"_

_You smile and feel your cheeks heat up. "Thanks Cas. Clint is taking me to a party. He told me to dress up."_

_"I know Dean dislikes him, but I disagree with Dean on that subject. I see how happy he makes you. I think you're the happiest I've ever seen you. You deserve happiness."_

_"Ya, he does make me happy. But you know who else deserves happiness is you and Dean."_

_Cas's face falls and he drops his head. You put your hands on his face and make him look at you. "I know how much you love him Cas. I know he has feelings for you too. He's just scared to admit it. I'm not going to give up on you two. I'll wear him down eventually. After all I'm just as stubborn as him."_

_Cas finally cracks a small smile. "I know you are. Thank you (Y/N)."_

_You give him a hug. He's finally learned to hug you back so it's not awkward. "That's what friends are for. Love you Cas."_

_"I love you too angel."_

_You like his pet name for you but you find it odd that a real angel calls you angel._

_Cas pulls away and gives you a genuine smile. "I better go keep an eye on Dean so he doesn't overly threaten your boyfriend when he arrives."_

_After Cas leaves you finish getting ready. You bought a dark purple gown, Clint likes purple. It's strapless and hangs just above the floor with your heels. There's also a slit up one side that stops mid thigh._

_You're not sure who's going to be more surprised Clint or your brothers, because you never dress up._

_You know when Clint arrives because you hear Dean slamming things around. Then he begrudgingly yells for you. After one more look at yourself in the mirror you walk towards the war room where the boys are._

_Clint spots you first since Dean has his back turned as he glares daggers at him. "You look gorgeous baby."_

_Dean whips his head around and looks at you with wide eyes. Then he starts pointing at you. "Nope. No way. Not happening. That's way too much skin, go change."_

_You roll your eyes and brush past him. Sam also ignores Dean as he gives you a hug. "You look beautiful sis, have fun tonight."_

_"Thank you Sammy." You turn and look at Dean with your arms crossed. "Now how about you try again, and be more like Sam. A nice compliment and to have fun."_

_Sam and Cas both give Dean a look. He sighs in defeat, and opens his arms. You go give him a hug. He whispers so only you can hear him._

_"I'm sorry, you look very beautiful. I'm just not used to my baby sister looking like a woman. Have fun but not too much fun."_

_"Thank you Dee."_

_Dean points at Clint. "She better look like this when she gets back! Lay a finger on her and you'll never shoot a damn arrow again. I'll cut your fucking hands off!"_

_Clint just puts his hands up like he's surrendering. You roll your eyes and grab Clint's arm as you head up the stairs._

_The main reason this long distance relationship is working so well is because of the Quinjet Clint has access to. Otherwise traveling between Kansas and New York would be very exhausting._

_When you get on to the jet Clint wraps his arms around you and kisses you repeatedly. "I wasn't going to say this in front of your brother, but you look hot. You're so sexy baby. I can't wait to get under that dress."_

_You laugh and shake your head at him. "You're looking pretty sexy in that suit too handsome."_

_"So does your brother still seriously think you're a virgin?"_

_"I think he's just happy pretending to be blissfully ignorant on that subject."_

  
  


_When you get to the tower Clint takes you to the main floor the Avengers live on. Everyone is dressed up like you and Clint. They all hug you and tell you how beautiful you look._

_When you arrived they were watching some surveillance videos. You look up at the screen where they paused it. "You guys haven't encountered one of those have you?"_

_They all look at you questioningly. Clint puts his arm around your waist. "What do you mean baby? It's some weird tattooed guy working for Hydra."_

_"No, that's djinn. Don't ever let one touch you. One touch and they put you in a coma like dream state. They make you think your deepest desires come true as they feed off you, draining you of all your blood. That's where the story of genie's comes from, but they don't actually grant wishes."_

_Bruce is the first one to speak up. "Well that sounds completely horrible. That's good to know."_

_"You might want to know how to kill one too. Silver blade dipped in lambs blood."_

_Clint chuckles. "That's oddly specific."_

_"Ya every monster has its own kryptonite. Sometimes the hard part is finding out what it is."_

_Tony and Steve look like they are having a silent conversation. Steve turns to you. "Doll I know you're not here to work, but would you mind if we showed you a few more really quick? Just tell us if you think it's something supernatural?"_

_"Sure. I don't mind."_

_Tony pulls up some more surveillance videos and photos._

_"That's a vampire. You can slow them down with dead man's blood, but the only way to kill one is decapitation. They can turn you if their blood gets inside of you. As long as you don’t feed on human blood after being turned there’s a way to reverse it. But it’s a painful process._

_That one is a werewolf. Anything silver to the heart will kill it. One bite and they can turn you. The transformation won’t take place until the next full moon cycle. There is a cure as long as it’s done before the first transformation is completed, again it’s a very painful process._

_Oh that's a demon. Those are more tricky. You can kill one with an angel blade or a blade forged in hell. If you get their real name you can dig up their bones and burn them. But all of those ways also kill the person they are possessing. Sometimes they possess already dead bodies. But if the person is still alive the only way to save them is with an exorcism."_

_The room goes silent and you start feeling a little awkward._

_Tony smiles at you. "Wow, you are just a wealth of knowledge aren't you? Thank you for the monster lesson. Now I think that's enough for one evening. Let's go enjoy the party."_

_Everyone heads down to the party. Clint tells them you'll be down shortly. Once the elevator doors close he presses you up against the wall. "You're so beautiful I don't know how I'm going to keep my hands off you tonight." Then he crashes his lips into yours._

_He slides his hand up your bare thigh where the dress is slit. You break the kiss and smile at him. "Slow down cowboy, I didn't get dressed up all fancy for no reason. We're going to the party. Then we can fool around after."_

_He grabs your hand and laces your fingers together as he pulls you to the elevator. "Okay we better hurry. I wasn't joking about getting under that dress."_

_You smack him on the shoulder playfully. As the elevator door closes you smile at him. "Just so you know, I can't wait to rip that suit off of you either."_

_Clint puts both hands on your face and resumes kissing you like he was when he had you pressed against the wall. The elevator doors open as you're still kissing._

_"Surprise!"_

_A crowd of people shout at you. You break the kiss and see a ballroom full of people staring at you. There's a large banner hanging on the back wall. It says 'Happy Birthday (Y/N)'._

_You gasp and put a hand over your mouth and look at Clint. He's giving you a nervous smile. "I know your birthday isn't till next week, but we wanted to throw you a party."_

_No one has ever done this for you before. It's not something the Winchester's do. Your eyes start to water. "I don't know what to say. Thank you."_

_You go around and thank each of your new friends. Then Clint pulls you out to the dance floor. Your eyes are still watery because you're so overwhelmed by it all. Clint quickly takes notice. "What's wrong baby?"_

_You shake your head. "Nothing, it's just I've never had a birthday party before. My family doesn't really celebrate birthdays or holidays. It's a huge surprise but a nice surprise. Thank you baby."_

_"Well from now on I'm going to make sure we celebrate every birthday and every holiday to make up for what you missed out on. I love you (Y/N)."_

_You lean up and kiss him sweetly on the lips. "I love you too Clint."_

_When the song comes to an end and a new one starts Bucky cuts in. "Care to give an old man a dance?"_

_You chuckle at that. Clint kisses your temple and hands you off to Bucky._

_You smile at Bucky. "I heard back when you were young and spry you were quite the dancer."_

_"Ouch doll, I walked right into that one didn't I?" Then you both start laughing._

_"Just for the record Bucky I don't think you and Steve are old."_

_"And that doll face is the reason you're our best girl."_

_As you laugh and dance with Bucky you see Clint having what looks like a serious conversation with Steve and Tony._

_When the song ends Bucky walks you over to where Clint is. "I'll let you have your girl back for now." Bucky says teasingly._

_"Real funny Barnes." Clint wraps his arm around your waist as he scowls at Bucky and then turns his attention back to you. "Steve and Tony want to talk to you for a minute baby. That alright?"_

_You nod your head and follow him out of the party and down the hall to an office where Steve and Tony are already waiting._

_"Something wrong fellas?" You ask, feeling nervous and confused._

_Steve smiles at you. "No doll, not at all. We just want to ask you something. Hydra is getting more involved with supernatural things that we don't have any experience with, but you do. You fit in here and we all love you already. We want to make you part of the team. Make you an Avenger. Would you want that?"_

_Your eyes go wide with surprise. They are just full of surprises tonight. "That would be amazing." You say with a wide smile, but then your face quickly falls when you think of your family. "But my brothers. I don't know."_

_Tony's voice gets your attention. "Clint said you would say that. So you don't have to decide right now. Just think about it, and think for yourself. Don't worry about what your brothers want, it's your life not theirs."_

_After that Steve and Tony leave so you can talk alone with Clint. He puts his hands on your face. "I swear this was completely their idea. I had nothing to do with it. But I won't lie, I would love having you here all the time. And like Steve said you fit right in. I also know this would be a huge change for you and your brothers will be pissed. So there's no deadline or anything. It's an open offer on the table for you."_

_You bite your lip and look at him nervously. "I promise I'll give it some serious thought. It's a huge decision. But to be completely honest my first instinct was to say yes. As you know things just aren't that simple for me."_

_"Fair enough. How about we go enjoy your party and worry about the serious stuff later."_


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

  
  


It's been two weeks since you escaped. You went off the grid and made sure your face wasn't picked up on any cameras.

Right now you're laying on a bed in an empty cabin staring at the picture Clint gave you. Both of you look happy in the picture.

You tuck the picture away and let out a sigh. You just want to go home. You remember home, but you're scared. You take a deep breath and finally decide to pray.

"Castiel, I need you. Will you please help me?"

When he doesn't appear your heart sinks. Then you remember he warded you and your brothers against angels during the apocalypse. So you pray to him again with the general location of the hidden cabin you are hiding away in.

Seconds later you hear the sound of wings fluttering. A sound you have missed dearly. "Angel? Are you alright?"

He sounds panicked. You turn over on the bed so you can see him. He looks panicked too. "No I'm not." You whisper to him and open your arms.

He climbs on the bed and pulls you tightly to his chest. "Oh, Angel where have you been? I've been searching for you since you went missing last year."

"I don't want to talk about it Cas." Then you start crying into his chest and wrap your arms around him, latching on tight like he's your life line.

"It's okay angel you're safe. You know I'll protect you."

He just holds you as you cry. Eventually you start to calm down. "I missed you Cas." You rasp out.

"I missed you too. I spoke with Sam, he said you lost your memory. But you remember me so am I correct to assume you have some memories back?"

"Some."

"Well let me try to fix it. See if I can undo what they did."

"NO!.....I mean, please don't. I trust you, but I don't want my mind messed with."

"Okay angel, I understand."

You lay there with him a while longer. He makes you feel calm and safe with just his presence. "Cas, can you take me home to my brothers?"

"Of course. Are you ready now?" You just nod your head against his chest. In the blink of an eye you hear wings fluttering and suddenly you're inside the bunker.

Cas is holding you in his arms. Sam sees both of you first. "DEAN! Dean get in here NOW!"

"WHAT?!"

Dean stomps into the room. He sees Sam's face and follows the direction he's looking. "Cas? You found her?!"

"No, she prayed to me."

He gently sets you down. Dean hesitantly takes a step closer, last time you saw him you tried to kill him. "Sweetheart do you remember me and Sammy now?"

"I remembered Cas and home. And of course my big brothers. I'm so sorry Dee I almost killed you."

As the tears start streaming down your face Dean strides across the room and scoops you up in his arms. "It's okay baby girl it wasn't your fault. It wasn't you. Don't worry, I got you."

Dean signals for Sam to talk to Cas. Then he carries you down the hall to his room. He lays down on his bed with you and you sob uncontrollably into his chest. Crying harder than when Cas came to you earlier. He rubs his hands up and down your back telling you it’s okay or he’s got you over and over. After a while you cry yourself to sleep. 

You wake some time later. You still have your head on Dean’s chest, you can smell his cologne and aftershave. His arms are still tightly wrapped around you. You squeeze him back and he groans out in pain. 

You quickly release him and bolt upright. You forgot about your strength. When you hugged Cas you didn’t hurt him because of his angel strength. “Oh my god Dee. I’m so sorry.” You try scurrying off the bed, but Dean pulls you back. You don’t fight him because you don’t want to hurt him again. 

“Dee let me go. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No I’m not letting you go. I just got you back. I’m fine I swear. We’ll both just have to remember that you’re a little stronger than me now.”

You crack a tiny smile. “A little stronger?”

He smiles back at you. “Well I don’t want to completely bruise my manly ego. So yes, we’ll just stick with a little stronger.”

He pulls you back into his arms and kisses the top of your head. “I missed you so much sweetheart.” You smile sadly against his chest. “I missed you too Dee.” Then you both just lay there for a while until both of your stomachs start growling. Dean chuckles when he hears it. “When’s the last time you ate?” You just shrug your shoulders. “Well come on, let's go eat something. I know it's just a matter of time before Sammy barges in here anyway.”

Dean walks with you to the kitchen with his arm over your shoulder. Like he’s afraid if he lets go of you that you’ll disappear. When you get to the kitchen Sam and Cas are in there. Sam smiles at you and opens his arms. Dean took you away as soon as Cas brought you there so he didn’t even get a chance to speak to you. 

You step away from Dean to go hug Sam, but you stop yourself and wrap your arms around you. Sam looks at you confused, but Dean catches on. “She hugged me a little too tight a while ago. We both forgot about her strength.” 

Sam nods his head in understanding. “It’s alright sis. Just don’t squeeze too hard.” Dean nudges you and you finally drop your arms and walk over to Sam. Hesitantly you give him a hug. When you feel more confident you hug him back a little tighter, but not too tight.

“See, you got it. I missed you so much (Y/N).”

“I missed you too Sammy.”

Dean makes both of you a sandwich and all of you go sit at the table together. When you’re halfway through your meal Sam starts asking questions. Which you knew was coming. “Hey (Y/N), how much do you remember?” Dean kicks Sam under the table and gives him a glare.

“Um...I already told you when I got here. I remembered you guys and home, but a lot is still fuzzy. And I remember some things about Hydra, but I don't really want to talk about that stuff right now."

Dean puts his arm around your shoulders. "It's okay you don't have to talk about it."

You nod your head at Dean and look back to Sam. "Was there something I should remember?”

Sam goes to say something, but Dean cuts him off. “No sweetheart, not at all. You remember your family so that’s all the matters.” Sam gives Dean a bitch face. Cas goes to say something, but Dean gives him a glare also so he closes his mouth. You decide to ignore it. 

“Why were you guys with my target after I was captured?”

Sam looks at you confused. “Your target?”

“Ya the tall blonde one. My mission was to kill him.”

Dean interrupts Sam again. “Well him and his friends were looking for the guy you were with. So we hired him to help us search for you. That’s probably why you were hired to kill him. They called us when they found you.”

“And Soldat, he’s okay?”

“Ya, he’s with his own family now.” Seeming happy with his answers you go back to your meal after that. An awkward silence sets in, but you chose to ignore that also. 

When you finish eating you decide to go shower and change your clothes. After you get dressed in comfortable clothes you start walking down the hall to find your brothers. You hear them arguing with each other. They are whisper yelling, but you can still hear them with your now enhanced hearing. 

_ “Dean, you can’t be fucking serious. She should know everything. What if she suddenly remembers, and she’s pissed we didn’t tell her.” _

_ “I don’t care! We have her back finally. She’s safe and where she belongs. Nothing else matters. And maybe she doesn't want to remember. Cas said she wouldn't let him in her mind.” _

_ "Dean, he already told her that he was her husband, and what her married name is. I'm sure she hasn't forgotten that conversation." _

_ "Ya and she called him a liar. She didn't believe him. Don't you think she would have brought that up already if she thought it was true?!" _

They continue arguing but you stop listening and turn around and go back to your own room instead of Dean’s and lay down in bed. 

You didn't interrupt them and ask what they are arguing about because you already know. You lied earlier, you remember everything. You remember your husband, the Avengers, and the fight you had with Dean the last time you saw him.

How are you supposed to look your husband in the eye after the things you did with Bucky. You cheated on your husband repeatedly. Sure you didn't have your memories, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.

Then there's Steve. Him and Bucky are your closest friends. How are you supposed to look at him without feeling ashamed?

And lastly there's Dean. You've been without your big brother for so long. You're afraid you'll lose him again if he knows you remember everything. Growing up he was far more than just your big brother. He was your best friend, and also had to be your father and mother. He was your everything. You have missed him so much.

Someone knocking on your door pulls you from your thoughts. “Come in.” The door slowly opens, and you see it’s Cas. So you give him a small smile but it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

“(Y/N), would you mind if I check to make sure you're physically okay? I promise I'll stay out of your mind."

"Let me guess Dean's worried?"

Cas smiles and nods his head. "Yes you know your brother well."

"Okay Cas go ahead. He'll just keep stressing about it if I don't let you."

He sits down next to you on your bed and puts his hand on your shoulder. His eyes glow briefly. When he's done he cocks his head to the side and frowns.

"What? Is there actually something wrong with me?"

"Not exactly. (Y/N) you're pregnant."

You stare at him blankly as you try to process what he just said. Once it sinks in your eyes immediately fill with tears. Now you really can't go back to New York.

Cas wraps his arms around you. "It's okay angel." You cry into Cas's chest for what feels like hours, but was likely just minutes.

When you lift your head you look at Cas with watery eyes. "Cas, can you please keep this between us for now?"

"Yes of course, if that's what you want." He looks like he wants to say more but stops himself, and then changes his mind again. "Dean's already angry with me. This will make him furious but I can't lie to you. You have another family you need to know about."

"Cas, it's okay. I know I can always trust you. So I'll tell you the truth, I remember everything."

He looks at you incredulously. "Why didn't you say so when Sam asked you?"

"If I'm pregnant that means it's Bucky's. How am I supposed to face my husband or his? And I'm also scared if Dean knows I remember he'll pressure me into choosing again. I've missed him, and I need time to think."

"Oh angel I'm so sorry. I understand now. I promise this will stay between us."

"Thank you Cas. Now what's Dean mad at you for now?"

Cas lets out a dramatic sigh. "When your husband called last year after you went missing we all dropped everything to search for you. With every attempt we came up empty handed. Dean got desperate after a couple months and was going to make a demon deal again to find you. I told him you wouldn't want to be found that way. I stopped him….forcefully. Then we had a physical altercation when I brought him back to the bunker, and I told Sam. He's been angry with me ever since."

Now it's your turn to sigh dramatically. "Oh that sounds like Dean alright. Thank you Cas, you made the right call. I wouldn't want to be found that way."

Cas nods his head and gives you another hug. "Why don't you get some rest. I'll tell Dean you're fine."

You kiss his cheek. "Thank you Cas."

After Cas leaves you pull the picture of you and Clint out and stare at it. Tears slowly spill from your eyes. You're pregnant with another man's baby, and all you desperately want is your husband. "I miss you so much baby. I wish I could tell you that." Eventually you get tired from all your crying and fall asleep.

Sometime later in the night you feel cold, you're shivering. Then you hear screaming, loud screaming.

"(Y/N)! Sweetheart, wake up."

You jolt upright in bed. You're breathing heavily, covered in cold sweat, and shaking. Dean puts his hands on your face. "It was just a dream sweetheart, you're safe."

You wrap your arms around Dean. "I don't want to be alone." Without a word he picks you up and carries you to his room since your sheets are soaked in sweat. You're still shivering when you get to his room so he gives you one of his shirts.

You curl up next to him in his bed. He doesn't say anything, you know he won't ask you to talk about it. But maybe you need to. "It was the cold." You whisper quietly.

"What was sweetheart?"

"Why I was screaming, it was the cold. I forgot where I was, and thought I was back with Hydra."

Dean wraps his arm around you. "You're safe, I won't let them take you again. Did they keep you somewhere cold?"

"When they would move me and Soldat to a new facility they would put us in cryo chambers. Or if they wanted to punish us for disobeying. Waking up was awful. My bones felt frozen and it felt like fire and ice flowing through my veins. The real pain would come after that. They put us in a machine to basically scramble our brains, felt like it was thrown into a blender. It's the worst pain I ever felt, and I always wished for the cold to come back."

Dean squeezes you a little tighter. "I will hunt down every one of them and tear their hearts out. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. But I'm here now, try getting some sleep. I'll make sure you stay warm."

"Thank you Dee."

  
  


Sam heard your screams and also went running to check on you but Dean beat him there.

He disagrees with Dean about not telling you about your husband. He knows you'll be hurt and upset when you do remember. He also knows Clint is hurting just as badly. The two of you love each other very much.

Since Dean is taking care of you he makes a decision. He's going to call Clint because he knows it's the right thing. He'll just have to deal with Dean's wrath later.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

  
  


Clint's sitting on the edge of the landing dock for the Quinjet. He's staring at the skyline and the city lights. He needed a break from Steve and Bucky. Granted they are probably asleep now, but he also doesn’t want to sleep in his empty bed right now.

Bucky has gradually been getting his memories back over the last two weeks. He hasn’t talked about what happened to the two of you while you were missing. Only that they gave you the super soldier serum, and brainwashed you like they had done to him. Which were both things the team already assumed. 

Steve and Bucky have been all over each other. He's happy for them. But it just keeps reminding him of what he's lost. There's been no sign of you since you broke yourself out, and it hurts just as badly as the day he first lost you.

His phone ringing pulls him from his thoughts. He lets out a sigh when he sees who it is. It’s the middle of the night and Sam probably wants an update. Well there's nothing to update, but he decides to answer it anyway.

"Hey Sam, still nothing on our end."

_ "She's here." _

Clint's heart starts pounding so hard he's sure it's going to beat right out of his chest. "What? How? When? Is she okay?"

_ "Whoa, slow down. So physically she's okay. She prayed to Cas and asked him to bring her here." _

"So she remembers who she is? Does she remember me?" Clint holds his breath after he asks that last question.

_ "I haven't gotten much out of her. She said she remembered Cas, home, and her brothers. She also mentioned remembering Hydra but said she didn't want to talk about it. Cas told her he would try to undo whatever Hydra did to her, but she wouldn’t let him. She said she didn’t want her mind messed with. So she still doesn’t have all of her memory back." _

Clint almost forgets to breathe as his tiny glimmer of hope dwindles. "Did she mention me? What did you tell her?"

Sam sighs into the phone _. "No, that's why I'm calling. She's been here almost an entire day. Dean doesn't want to tell you, and honestly he doesn't want her to remember. He's kept close to her the entire time, so I haven't been able to talk to her much." _

"What?! Are you fucking kidding me?! She's my fucking wife!"

_ "I know that, which is why I called. I disagree with Dean. But if you just barge in here and she sees you fighting with Dean she’s going to defend him since she doesn’t remember you. Then she’s going to get the wrong impression of you. So I had an idea, how is Bucky doing?" _

Clint takes a couple calming breaths. He wishes he would have punched Dean harder now. After Nat told him you escaped thanks to Dean he punched him a couple times before both Sam’s split them up. “He’s doing better, remembering more each day. But he also won’t talk about what happened while they were with Hydra. What’s your idea?”

_ “Well she was asking about him earlier, she was worried about him. You think he’d be willing to come talk to her? She trusts him, and Dean can’t really argue about him coming to talk to her without giving her a reason.” _

“Ya, I know he’s worried about her too. We’ll just have to talk to Steve too. He hasn’t really left Bucky’s side in the last two weeks.”

_ “Okay talk with them and let me know. I’ll try talking to her if I can get Dean away from her long enough.” _

“Okay, thank you Sam.”

  
  


Hours later Clint is still awake. His mind won’t stop racing, so he couldn’t sleep. He’s sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen drinking coffee. His legs are bouncing up and down anxiously. Nat walks in and sees him. “How many cups have you had?”

“It’s more like how many pots. This might be the third pot of coffee. I can’t remember.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. She’s about to ask him what's wrong but Steve and Bucky walk in together having just finished their morning run. “Steve! Bucky! I need to talk to you. I’ve been waiting hours.” Clint is practically bouncing up and down on the stool. They both stand in front of him and give him the same concerned look as Nat.

“(Y/N) prayed to Cas, she’s with her brothers.”

Everyone’s face lights up. Steve uncrosses his arms and leans on the counter. “Seriously? Is she alright? Is she getting her memory back like Bucky?”

Clint’s face falls and that wordlessly answers their question. “According to Sam she only remembered Cas, her brother’s, and home. Their home. Dean doesn’t want her to remember me, or any of us for that matter. So he hasn’t told her anything, and hasn’t let Sam tell her anything. She refused to let Cas try to heal her mind, she doesn’t want her mind messed with.”

Nat slams her hands on the counter. “That’s bullshit. They may be her brother’s but she’s your wife. And she’s like a sister to us too. You should have hit that asshole harder. I’ll go kick his ass myself.”

Clint gives her a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks Nat. I was tempted to do the same. But Sam had a good point, since she doesn’t remember me it might look bad if I charge in there and pick a fight with her brother. He had a pretty good idea, but I need Bucky’s help.”

Bucky has been silent this entire time. He has a blank expression on his face, as he tries to hide his emotions. “What her brother is doing is wrong. You know I’d do anything to help her. She belongs here with us. What does she need?”

“She asked about you, wanted to know if you’re okay. Sam was wondering if you would go see her, and talk to her. Dean can’t argue about you being there without giving her a reasonable explanation. She trusts you, and you went through this whole ordeal together. So maybe you can give her the full story. The large gap in her life Dean is purposely leaving out.”

Bucky and Steve look at each other like they are having a silent conversation and both nod their heads. “Of course I’ll talk to her. I've wanted to speak to her since I started remembering. But how about both you and Steve come. If it goes alright maybe you can talk to her also.”

"When can we leave?" Steve's using his serious captain voice, and he looks just as pissed as Nat.

“I’ll call Sam, and find out.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the last flashback chapter

CHAPTER 13

_ Flashback - Reader’s fallout with Dean _

  
  


_ Another glass bottle flies across the room, smashing into the wall and shattering across the floor making you and Sam flinch. Dean’s face is red with rage. “No! You are not breaking this family apart for some douche bag with a bow and arrow.” _

_ “Dean you’re not being reasonable. What about when you dragged me along with you when you moved in with Lisa and Ben after we thought Sammy was gone for good. I fucking hated it there, hated her. But I kept it to myself, because I wanted you to have your chance and happiness. Why can’t I have that chance?” _

_ He takes another drink of whiskey straight from the bottle. He hasn’t thrown that one yet since it’s still half full. “Are you serious right now? That’s not the fucking same thing at all. I made Sam a goddamn promise, and I kept it. I told him I would try living a normal life. A normal life that included you, my own flesh and blood. I didn’t leave you behind for some chick. I kept us together. And in the end I chose you and Sammy over her. What you’re doing is leaving your family!” _

_ “I wouldn’t be leaving my family, and I wouldn’t be leaving you behind. They have a jet, I can be here in no time. Or I can even just simply pray to Cas. I can split my time between Kansas and New York if I want.” _

_ Sam has been trying to help you by getting Dean to calm down ever since you told him the Avengers wanted you to join their team. But any attempts to placate him make it worse. So he's currently watching you and Dean argue back and forth. _

_ Dean laughs humorlessly. "Split your time? Really? So on weekdays you're a wannabe superhero, and on weekends a monster hunter. You are a fucking Winchester. You don't belong with a bunch of suped up freaks." _

_ "They aren't freaks, they're good people. And they need a hunter. Hydra is experimenting with monsters. They haven't dealt with this stuff before. Therefore I would still be a hunter." _

_ "That's just some bullshit line your boyfriend is feeding you to take you away from your family. No, you're not leaving!" _

_ "That's not true. I love him Dean! And he loves me." _

_ "You're just infatuated with him because he's a shiny new toy. Me and Sammy love you. And you're going to do the right thing and choose your family. Do you understand me?!" _

_ "No Dean! It's my life which makes it my choice, not yours! So why can't I have both?! Have my family and be an Avenger." _

_ Dean throws his now empty bottle of whiskey across the room joining the others as it shatters to the floor. "Fine, you're absolutely right it's your life so it's your choice. Stay here with your family and be a Winchester. Or leave to join that family of freaks and no longer be a Winchester." _

_ As Dean's words sink in your eyes immediately fill with tears. "You don't really mean that. You promised me you would never leave me again." _

_ Sam's finally heard enough. "Dean that's going too far. I think…" _

_ Dean cuts Sam off. "I don't give a fuck what you think Sam. So shut the fuck up. Yes (Y/N) I do fucking mean it, and I’m not breaking my promise. You want to leave not me. Who means more to you, your brothers who raised you? Or some ass hat you barely know?" _

_ You take a deep breath. Clint's sitting outside waiting for you. You told him it would be best if you talked to Dean alone.  _

_ Everyone has been telling you to think for yourself. Choose for yourself what you want for your own life. Everyone except for Dean. You can't keep letting him bully you into doing what he thinks is best. You know he's just scared, and when he's scared he gets angry. You can't control Dean or his fears, but you can take control of yourself. _

_ "I love you Dean, and I love Sammy. Me choosing to join the Avengers has nothing to do with how I feel about you. There's absolutely no reason why I can't have both my family and a new job. So Dean I'm choosing for myself for once. I'm going to New York." _

_ Dean tries but fails to will his tears away. "I promise you if you walk out that door don't you ever come back because you'll be dead to me. I won't have a sister anymore." _

_ With a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks you look Dean in the eyes. "I'm sorry you feel it has to be that way. I love you Dee, no matter what you’ll always be my big brother. And the same goes for you Sam, I love you." You grab the single bag you packed and walk up the stairs. As you reach the handle for the door you hear Dean one last time.  _

_ “I mean it (Y/N), walk out that door and you’re no longer a Winchester.”  _

_ You take a deep breath and push the door open, slamming it shut behind you. Your vision is blurry from the tears, but you can see Clint’s frame off in the distance. You hear the door to the bunker open and shut giving you a tiny glimmer of hope Dean didn’t mean what he said.  _

_ “(Y/N) wait!” _

_ Sam catches up to you and puts his hands on your shoulders so you face him. He sees your tear stained face and tries wiping them away. “(Y/N), I don’t agree with Dean on this at all. I’m not shutting you out, and I’m proud of you for standing up to Dean. You supported me when I left for Stanford, so I’m going to support you on this. Okay?” _

_ You can’t manage to get any words out so you just nod your head and wrap your arms around him. He squeezes you tight, and tells you it will be okay. You can hear footsteps approaching and know it’s Clint. As you cry into Sam’s chest he talks to Clint. _

_ “Things didn’t go very well with Dean. He said some pretty harsh things so they both need time to cool off. Now promise me my sister will be safe with you.” _

_ “I swear, I love her and promise to protect her. As does the rest of the team.” _

_ Sam kisses your forehead. “I love you sis. Call me once you settle in, okay?” You squeeze him once more and nod your head against his chest. “Okay Sammy, I love you too.” Then Sam passes you over to Clint.  _

_ Clint gives you a hug and then keeps you close as he walks you to the Quinjet to start your new life with the Avengers in New York. _

_ 1 year later….. _

_ You had hope after Dean had some time to think and cool off he would apologize or at least stop shutting you out. But a year later he still won’t speak to you. Sam and Cas call on a regular basis and visit you when they can. Sometimes you meet them, but never at the bunker.  _

_ You look at the shiny new ring on your finger, it makes you smile everytime you see it. It’s white gold in the shape of an arrow with a purple stone in the middle. It’s perfect. Clint nervously proposed to you, and you didn’t even hesitate to say yes. Now you have a wedding to plan. You want Dean to walk you down the aisle, he was more your father than your real one was. But you’re afraid to ask, afraid he’ll refuse. _

_ Clint sees you staring at your ring and sits next to you on the bed. “Did I do okay baby?” _

_ You grab his face and pull him to you for a bruising kiss. “You did better than okay, handsome. It’s perfect, I love it. And I love you.” _

_ “I love you too.” _

_ Your face falls as you pick up your phone. “I know Sam and Cas will be happy for us. But I want Dean to be there. I’m afraid to ask though.” _

_ Clint wraps his arms around you. “Well you won’t know for sure unless you ask. And Sam already knows.” You quirk an eyebrow at him. He smiles back at you. “I did the old fashion thing and asked him permission to marry you. I would have asked Dean, but he hates me and refuses to speak to me.” _

_ “You really did that? What did Sam say?” _

_ “He said yes, because I make you so happy. But if I ever hurt or mistreat you he’ll hunt me down himself.” _

_ You snort out a laugh. “Well I still need to call him. Maybe he can get Dean on the phone for me.” _

  
  


_ Sam and Dean are in the middle of hunting for a ghoul when you call. They stopped for food so Sam has his phone on the table. Both of them see when your name and picture flashes across the screen. Dean’s face goes void of any emotion, grabs his food and goes outside. Sam shakes his head at his brother. This has gotten ridiculous.  _

_ He picks up his phone to answer your call. “Hey sis.” _

_ “Hey Sammy. Can you talk or are you busy?” _

_ “We’re hunting a ghoul, but stopped to get some lunch. Dean is outside right now. But you know I always have time for you. What’s up?” _

_ “Well I’m wearing a shiny new ring on my finger, and heard Clint asked you for permission.” _

_ Sam smiles, he can tell by just your voice how happy you are. “I’m assuming you said yes if you’re wearing the ring, so congrats. Did he tell you everything I said?” He smiles more as he hears you laugh into the phone. It took awhile for you to start laughing again after the way Dean hurt you so it’s nice to hear you laughing again.  _

_ “Yes he did, and thank you.” You take a deep breath to ready yourself for the next question you want to ask. “So…..the other reason I called….I really want Dean to walk me down the aisle. Do you think he’ll talk to me long enough to let me ask?” _

_ Sam loses his smile and lets out a sigh. “I won’t lie to you because I don’t want to get your hopes up. He’s still holding his grudge, and won’t even talk about you. He stormed outside when he saw it was you calling me. But I’ll still try talking to him.” _

_ You take a deep breath and try to hold back your tears. “Ya I was afraid you would say that. I don’t want this to come off as you’re my second choice, but if Dean won’t do it will you?” _

_ “I understand. You and Dean were always closer growing up. Especially after the few years it was just the two of you. So it doesn’t hurt my feelings. Of course I would do that for you. Me and Cas will be there no matter what okay?” _

_ “Okay, thank you Sammy.” _

_ The day of your wedding it was Sam that walked you down the aisle. Dean didn’t come to your wedding. He was angry all over again, and told Sam he was right you weren’t a Winchester anymore. After that he refused to acknowledge he had a sister. That is until the day Sam got the phone call that you didn’t make it home after a mission went wrong. He felt shame and regret for pushing you away for so long, and then it was too late. _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fun before the angst amps back up.

CHAPTER 14

  
  


The morning after you had the nightmare you wake up with Dean still next to you. He had about four blankets piled on you so you wouldn’t get cold. It was actually kind of funny, but also sweet. He took what you told him last night seriously.

He nudges you after you’ve been awake for a few minutes. “You alright sweetheart? Did you get enough sleep?”

“Yes I did and stayed very warm, thank you.”

He just grunts at you in response. You both lay there a while longer. Your mind races and wanders until you remember something. “Hey Dee, can you do something for me?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Will you stop being so hard on Cas and forgive him? And don’t be mad at him for telling me why you were fighting in the first place. You know he won’t lie to me, and just so you know he was absolutely right, I’m glad he stopped you.”

Dean lets out a noise that sounds like a sigh mixed with a growl. He sits up and runs his hands through his hair a couple times. “In hindsight I know he was. But in the moment, I didn’t feel that way. You know me, I always shoot first and ask questions later. But when later comes I don’t want to talk about it. But ya, I’ll talk to him today. Alright?”

“Thank you Dee.”

Dean clears his throat awkwardly. “Did he tell you anything else?” You frown at him, and pretend to be oblivious to what he’s fishing for. “Not really. Is there anything else?” You can practically see the relief written all over his face. “Nope, just curious. So how about some breakfast and then do you want to help me wash baby? Just kind of take it easy today while you’re still getting back on your feet.”

Your face lights up. “Ya, sounds good to me.” 

Dean stayed true to his word and talked to Cas while he was making breakfast. You sat on the counter and ate all the bacon as Dean was cooking it. Until he realized what was happening, then he tickled you relentlessly till you begged for mercy. As long as he thinks you don’t remember, he’s acting like he did before you ever left. The fun loving brother he used to be, the brother you have missed so much.

Sam kept giving you some weird looks during breakfast, and was trying to get Dean out of the room. Which tells you he wants to ask you or tell you something that will upset Dean. So you stuck to Dean’s side to avoid whatever awkwardness Sam was trying to bring up. And Dean didn’t complain about you practically following him around. You both missed each other dearly but won’t say it out loud, because that would mean both of you would have to fess up to what you’re hiding.

After breakfast you went outside to help Dean wash baby. You’ve missed that car so much, but you can’t tell Dean that either. Cas came out to watch, but you had a better idea. 

You’re still determined to get those two together, and you need a distraction from your own problems right now. You’re not a true Winchester unless you avoid your problems till they fester and resurface.

You look at Dean who’s on the opposite side of the car. “Hey, how about we let Cas help? If he’s going to watch he might as well pitch in.”

Dean nods his head. “Ya go for it.” 

You walk over to Cas and yank his trench coat and suit jacket off. He gives you a confused look. “It will get in the way, and get all wet.”

He cocks his head to the side. “But I’m an angel. I can return it to normal in seconds.” 

“Just humor me please? Do it like a normal person, not an angel.” He finally concedes and nods his head at you. Then you unbutton the sleeves of his shirt and roll the sleeves up past his elbows. With all those layers of clothing, he looks half naked like this. On the plus side his white dress shirt is snug so you can make out that muscled body he hides underneath that damn trench coat. Lets see Dean ignore that you think smugly to yourself.

Since you have your back turned to Dean, you don’t see the deep frown on his face as he watches you half undress his best friend. 

You drag Cas over to the front of the car to wash the hood. Dean is washing the drivers side so he’s got a nice view of Cas. You casually start washing the back of the car and just watch to see how Dean reacts.

Cas’s muscles flex in his arms and back as he washes the hood, making his shirt impossibly tighter. His face is serious as he focuses on his task. You have no interest in Cas romantically but even you can see how sexy he looks. 

You look over a Dean and see him washing the same spot over and over while his eyes are trained on Cas. You almost want to hand him a napkin to wipe the drool off his face. This is a good start, but time to amp it up. 

You grab the hose to rinse the soap off the area you’re washing. Then when they least expect it you spray both of them with the hose. When they are completely drenched like wet cats they look at you incredulous making you burst into laughter. Their faces soften as they hear your laughter that they haven’t heard in a very long time. Then the water fight begins. All of you are laughing together. Sponges are thrown, buckets emptied, and the hose sprayed. They both get you back, but also get each other. 

Dean slips trying to get away from Cas. And Cas with his fast reflexes catches Dean, which makes Dean grasp onto his forearms to steady himself. That brings them right into an eye fucking session. They both have water dripping from their hair and faces. Cas’s white shirt is see through now. You’re pretty sure you heard Dean gulp, but it could have possibly been Cas.

Then of course your other brother, ever the cock block, breaks the moment. “Hey guys need some help?”

Dean backs away from Cas like he’s been burned, and Cas’s face falls. You give Sam a scowl for ruining your plan that was playing out wonderfully. Sam takes in the scene, and is probably a little alarmed by your scowl. 

“Or not. Looks like you're making more of a mess than actually washing it.”

Cas uses his angel mojo to clean himself up and is redressed in all his layers. Dammit Sammy! You’re screaming in your head. Cas gives one of his small smiles. “I think I’m done if you want to take my place.” Cas starts heading back inside. Sam shakes his head. “No I’ll come with you. I think they got it.”

Dean went back to his side of the car and is trying to act like nothing happened. You walk over to him with your arms crossed and narrow your eyes at him. When he feels your glare he slowly looks up. “What? What’s with the face?”

You’ve tiptoed around this issue for years before you left. You know Dean is bisexual but he’s ashamed of it, and won’t admit it out loud. Your asshole father did that to him. 

“Why won’t you just kiss him already? Grab him by the fucking trench coat throw him against the car and go for it.”

Dean’s cheeks start to turn pink as he looks at you unsure how to respond. Then he snaps himself out of it and shakes his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Cas is my best friend nothing more, and I’m not gay.”

You lean your head back looking up towards the sky and put your hands on your hips as you take a deep breath. “Dean this is me you’re talking to. I’m not dad, and absolutely nothing like that man. I’m all for free love. The gender shouldn’t matter if the person makes you happy. I’ve always known you like both women and men, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you seriously want to get technical with me. Cas doesn’t have a gender. He’s a celestial being that just happens to be inhabiting a man’s body.”

Dean huffs and throws the sponge down on the ground. You can tell he’s keeping his temper back to avoid fighting with you. After a couple beats of silence he responds. “I don’t like talking about this, and it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“You need to be able to talk to someone openly about it, why can’t it be me? And why doesn’t it matter? Do Cas’s feeling for you not matter either then?”

Dean was looking down at the ground but his head shot up at the last part you said. “What do you mean by feelings for me?”

You scoff at him. “Seriously? Do you not have eyes? He’s been in love with you since he rebelled from Heaven for you.”

“He’s not in love with me, he’s in love with you.”

You pause for a minute as you try to read his face. For a moment you think he’s messing with you, but you realize he’s being serious. “Dean, I swear to you he’s not in love with me. He loves me yes, but like a sister. He’s madly in love with you, but is afraid of you rejecting him and ruining your friendship.”

Dean’s mouth drops open. Then he opens and closes his mouth a couple times looking like a fish until he figures out what to say. “But you two seem so close. I always thought he had feelings for you.”

“Because he can confide in me. He can tell me how he’s feeling without being afraid. He knows I’ll listen to him and not judge him. And I can do the same with him. But there’s nothing romantic between us. So now tell me since you know the truth what’s stopping you from grabbing him by that trench coat and shoving your tongue down this throat?”

You start smiling as you say the last part, which Dean can’t help but smile also. He shakes his head and laughs at you, and himself. But then his face turns serious again. “I know you won’t judge me for it, but what’s Sammy going to think?”

“Holy hell Dean how are you that clueless. We have both always known. You and Cas do this thing where you just start at each other for much longer than what's considered normal. Me and Sammy have always called it your eye fucking sessions. Sometimes we would take turns timing it. So he will be just as thrilled as me.”

Dean frowns. “This is an awful lot of details you remember. Are your memories coming back?”

Crap. You’ll have to be a little more careful. “Just bits and pieces, it’s mostly still fuzzy. But when you had Cas check on me it reminded me of the talks I used to have with him. Me giving him pep talks and promising that I’d wear you down eventually and get you to confess your undying love for him.” You say half teasingly.

Dean smirks at you and closes the small distance between the two of you and pulls you in for a wet hug. You’re both still dripping wet from the water fight. So it’s a soggy hug. “I’d be lost without you.” You can hear the sadness in his voice.

“Me too Dee. That’s why we need each other.” You say sounding just as sad as him. Dean squeezes you tighter and kisses the top of your head. “So what do I do now about the celestial being waiting inside?”

You lean back so you can see his face and smile at him. “Well we can finish actually washing the car. Then maybe the two of you could go for a little drive and talk or make out like horny teenagers or just play it by ear. See where the drive takes you.”

Dean starts laughing. “You’re terrible, you know that? But it’s not a bad idea. What about you though? We just got you home. I don’t want to leave you already.”

“Well unless you’re pulling an all nighter in the backseat of baby I think I’ll survive a couple hours with Sammy while you're out.”

“Okay smartass. Let's finish washing the car.” He hugs you once more before releasing you, and whispers a “thank you” in your ear.

Sam was eavesdropping nearby, trying to find a good time to talk to both of you. And now he couldn’t be happier or planned it better himself. Happy for his brother finally admitting his feelings for Cas and happy you got rid of Dean for a few hours since Bucky was already on his way with Steve and Clint.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

  
  


After you and Dean finished washing baby you both headed inside to clean up. Dean checked with you a handful more times before he agreed to leave. He felt guilty leaving you considering everything you’ve been through. You told him it would make you happy to see the two of them together finally, they both deserve it. You could tell Dean was nervous and gave him a little pep talk. So he finally relented and convinced Cas to go for a drive with him.

Dean of course had to threaten Sam before he left. He didn’t tell Sam the true reason for him leaving though, and Sam didn’t tell him he overheard the conversation from earlier. 

“You better not say a goddamn word to her. You understand me? I have my baby sister back, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Dean says as he points a finger in Sam’s face.

Sam suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, but does give Dean a bitch face. “Dean she’ll probably get her memories back eventually, and then what? And don’t you think it’s odd she hasn’t asked any questions or told us the last thing she remembered? I mean come on there's like a 7 year gap.”

“If she gets her memory back then we’ll deal with it. And she has told me some things she remembers, things they did to her. I know you heard her screaming last night. So after everything she’s been put through I don’t think she’s trying very hard to get her memory back, because she doesn't want to. So keep your trap shut while I’m gone.”

“Fine. Where are you and Cas going anyway?”

Dean clears his throat awkwardly, and rubs a hand on the back of his neck. “Just a supply run. I don’t want to take (Y/N) out of the bunker yet.”

Sam internally rolls his eyes, but goes along with Dean’s lie for now. 

After Dean and Cas leave Sam paces the bunker. He hasn’t been able to talk to you yet. After Dean checked on you for the tenth time you got in the shower to clean up. Sam just got a text that Bucky will be here in a few minutes. Steve and Clint said they would wait on the jet for now. They don’t want to overwhelm you, and to avoid an altercation in the event that Dean comes back early.

  
  


Clint paces back and forth in the Quinjet. Bucky and Steve keep trying to reassure him that everything will be okay. The three of them just need to try containing their anger towards your brother and not beat the shit out of him. 

“Hey Bucky, what are you going to say to her?”

Bucky smirks at Steve. Clint has asked that question several times. He knows Clint is anxious and scared. “I’m just going to play it by ear. I need to get a feel for what her state of mind is and how much she remembers. But don’t worry, I’ll remind her how happily married she was before all of this.”

Clint nods his head as he continues his pacing. Steve, who's flying the jet, looks over his shoulder. “We’re here. Is it still all clear for Bucky to go in?”

“Ya Sam text me that Dean and Cas left and shouldn’t be back for a while.”

Bucky gives Clint a hug. “We’ll get her back, okay?” Clint feeling at a loss for words just nods his head in hopeful agreement. Steve gives Bucky a hug and kiss. “Go get our best girl back.”

  
  


You’re sitting on your bed freshly showered and dressed looking around your old bedroom. Your brothers kept it exactly how you left it. You didn’t take much with you when you left. Reaching under your pillow you pull out the picture of you and Clint, and go back to staring at it again. Then tears start welling in your eyes, but before they spill over there’s a knock on your door. “Come in Sammy.” You call out as you quickly tuck the picture away and wipe your eyes. 

The door slowly opens, and you look up when it shuts. Your eyes go wide with shock. “Bucky?!” Then you immediately clap a hand over your mouth when you realize your mistake. If you didn’t have your memories back you would have called him Soldat.

He gives you a nervous smile. “Hey doll, can I sit down with you?” You remove your hand from your mouth and nod your head. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed and gives you a knowing look. He was always good at reading you. “Why did you tell your brothers you don’t remember anything? You obviously remember me, the real me.”

You pull your knees up to your chest and hide your face in your hands. You weren’t ready for this. Now you know why Sammy was being weird this morning. 

“Doll?” Bucky scoots up the bed and sits next to you but doesn’t touch you. You unhide your face but keep your eyes pointed down. “It’s complicated Bucky.” You whisper to him.

“How much do you remember Bucky?”

“Everything. You?”

You sigh and cover your face again and whisper out a muffled response. “Everything.”

“Doll why haven’t you told Clint? He’s been heartbroken and devastated without you. Everyone at home misses you.”

Tears start streaming down your cheeks. You try holding your breath to silence your sobs, but that just makes your body shake. Bucky opens his arms. “Doll, come here.” You shake your head no and lean against the headboard as you angrily wipe your tears away. It’s not Bucky you're mad at, it’s just the fucked up situation you’re angry at.

You keep your eyes pointed down as you speak, you’re afraid to see the hurt in Bucky’s eyes. “What have you told Steve?”

“Nothing really. Just what they did to you is what they did to me back when Hydra first took me. I didn’t want to talk about anything else without first talking to you.”

“Bucky we did….things….together.”

When he doesn’t say anything you take a chance and glance at him. His face is crestfallen, and his eyes are cast down like yours were. “Is that why you’re angry with me?” He says just above a whisper, with his voice full of sadness.

Now you feel even more awful. Bucky is one of your closest friends, and he’s just as hurt as you are. You grab his left arm and wrap it around you as you lean into him. “I’m sorry Bucky. I’m really not mad or angry at you. It’s just the situation. After the things we did, how am I supposed to look my husband in the eye. Or even Steve for that matter.”

He wraps both arms around you, hugging you tight. “I know, it’s been hard for me to. I feel guilty, but we didn’t know what we were doing. We were lost and confused. Do you have any romantic feelings for me?”

“No of course not. I love you and Steve dearly, but not in that way. I’m in love with Clint.”

“That’s exactly how I feel. So you shouldn’t be punishing yourself or Clint because of this. We would have never done that to Steve or Clint. It was because Hydra messed with our heads. We can keep it between us, there’s no reason to tell them about it. So will you please come home?”

You start shaking your head and the tears start up again. “Like I said Bucky, it’s not that simple. If I stay here maybe you can at least salvage your marriage. Clint and Steve will be more hurt if I come home. Dean is happy being my brother again as long as I keep pretending I don’t remember anything. So maybe it’s better this way.”

“You can’t seriously believe that?! You gotta help me out here doll. I don’t understand. Clint’s barely keeping it together, why would you want to hurt him like that? And Steve misses you too.”

“Because I’m fucking pregnant Bucky!”

The room goes dead silent, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You lean forward to move away from Bucky but he stops you and keeps both arms wrapped around you. “It’s my baby?” He gasps out.

You nod your head and start sobbing. He pulls you closer and you cry into his chest. As he rubs his flesh hand up and down your back he tries getting you to calm down. “Is this the whole reason you haven’t come home?” You just nod your head against his chest.

“We can figure this out, doll. I’m in this with you, it’s my baby too. We can tell them both the truth. I think they’ll forgive us. We didn’t knowingly step outside of our marriages. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but you’re hurting them by staying here too. They’re both outside in the jet.”

You bolt upright with wide eyes and a tear stained face. “Clint is here? Outside? I can’t tell him, I’m scared Bucky.”

“So am I. And so is he. But I know how much he loves you, and you love him just as much. The truth will come out eventually. So he might as well hear it first hand from you. Does anyone else know?”

“Only Cas, he’s actually the one that told me. I told him I needed time to think so he said he wouldn’t tell anyone. And what about the baby? We both have that fucking serum in us. Oh my god! Is it going to be a hulked out super soldier baby?! What are my brothers or the team going to think? And we can’t let Hydra find out. They’ll try to steal our baby Bucky. You see how this spirals downhill for me very quickly?!”

Bucky puts his hands gently on your face. “You gotta calm down. One step at a time, doll. You need to talk to Clint, and while you’re doing that I’ll talk to Steve. Can we start there? Please?”

You know Bucky is right. It’s only the fear of the unknown stopping you. You’re a monster hunter, and an Avenger. You can get through this.

“Okay Bucky. Go get my husband.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunited with Clint finally.

CHAPTER 16

  
  


The sound of your rapidly beating heart is the only thing you can hear. You’re pacing back and forth in your bedroom feeling like your heart is going to beat right out of your chest at any second. Bucky left a couple minutes ago to go get Clint. He said he wouldn’t tell Clint anything other than you would speak to him. You also asked him to keep Sam out until you talk to Clint. When Sam has questions he starts rapid firing them at you and it gets overwhelming. You need to get over this hurdle first. 

You reach under your pillow and pull the picture out again. The two of you look so happy in this picture. You want to have that again. You miss him so much it hurts, but not as bad as the thought of hurting him. Which is what’s about to happen. 

Then there’s Dean. You’re hoping he stays gone long enough for you to get through this. He’s going to be furious if he sees Clint. You’re afraid you’ll lose him again the moment he knows you remember.

With your enhanced hearing you can hear someone coming down the hallway. You slip the picture back in its hiding spot and back away from the door to the other side of the room and hold your breath. There’s a quiet knock as it slowly opens. Clint's face slowly comes into view. You have to force yourself not to run across the room and wrap your arms around him.

He stops when the door is half open and stares at you. The last time you saw him you almost killed him. Maybe that’s why he’s not stepping into the room. You clear your throat and hope you can keep your voice steady. “I’m not going to hurt you Clint. I’m sorry about before.”

His eyes get a little wider, and he steps inside slowly closing the door behind him. “How much do you remember?” He says with a hint of hope in his voice.

You look into his eyes. His eyes that you missed so much. The one memory you held onto when Hydra took everything from you. Taking a deep breath you quietly respond. “Everything.”

It takes him a minute to process what you said, but you can tell the moment he does. His face lights up and he takes a couple steps. But you put your hands up and flatten your body against the wall behind you. “No wait. I need to tell you something first. You may not want to hug me after this.”

Clint looks hurt and confused. “Baby I don’t understand. I’ve been waiting a year for this moment. I have missed you so fucking much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you sooner. I tried, I never stopped looking.”

"I believe you, and I really missed you too. But I just need to get this out first. Okay?”

Clint reluctantly nods his head.

You take another deep breath, and force yourself to get this over with. “After Hydra pumped me full of the serum and did all their brainwashing on me and Bucky they would keep us in cryo chambers. Sometimes it was punishment, sometimes it was because we were being moved to a new facility. When they would wake us up it was painful and disorienting. But the pain would intensify because they would put us into a machine that felt like my brain was being thrown into a blender while being electrocuted. It was the worst pain I ever felt. 

When the pain would stop our handler would say the trigger words they put in us. That’s what made us complacent, and follow orders. Then they would send us out on some sort of mission, if we followed orders and completed it successfully we were rewarded. They would let me and Bucky stay together. We couldn’t remember anything about ourselves or each other, but we knew we always had each other. 

The first couple days after they would wake us the only emotions we could feel were anger or rage, and confusion. We didn’t know how to cope or deal with what we were feeling so we took our aggression out on each other. We did some bad things.”

You’re not done talking, but you needed a second to gather the courage to say the last few words. Clint mistakes your brief pause as you being finished. “Baby, do you think I’m going to be upset with you or look at you differently because of what Hydra made you do? Because that couldn’t be further from the truth. It wasn’t your fault or Bucky’s. We all know that. And I blame myself for all this, it was supposed to be my mission but you took my place.”

You shake your head no and the tears start up again. Your vision gets blurry so you try wiping them away. Clint goes to take another step closer but you put your hands up again signaling him to stop.

“Clint, it’s not your fault. And I…...I…...I’m sorry. I’m pregnant. It’s Bucky’s.”

You didn’t think it was possible for his face to look any sadder. He looks devastated and heartbroken. He turns so his back is towards you and runs his hands through his hair a few times. This is exactly what you were afraid of. Stomping on his heart and him leaving you.

“Clint, baby, I’m so sorry. This is why I didn’t want to come home. I didn’t want to hurt you or Steve.”

He keeps his back turned, but tilts his head up towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. “Do you and Bucky have feelings for each other?” The hurt in his voice is just as clear as the hurt expression on his face. 

“No of course not. He loves Steve and I love you. We were angry and confused, with no memories of anyone. We didn’t understand what we were doing. I would have never done anything like this to you intentionally. I hope you know that. Bucky is out in the jet telling Steve the same thing right now.”

When he doesn’t say anything you slide down the wall to the floor pulling your knees to your chest and bury your face in your hands. You try to control your sobbing but once again it doesn’t work. You cry so hard you start hyperventilating. 

Suddenly you feel arms sliding under you as Clint scoops you up off the floor. He carries you over to your bed and lays down holding you tightly to his chest. “Calm down baby. I’m still here.” You choke out “I’m sorry” several times in between your sobs. He just rubs his hands up and down your back until you calm down and start breathing normally. 

You’ve missed being in his arms so much. He feels like home to you, where you belong and where you always want to be. You want to squeeze him back, but then you remember you’ll physically hurt him and you don’t want to do that.

“I do know you would never do that.” He whispers quietly.

“What?”

“I do know that you would never cheat on me, just like I would never cheat on you. What you said was just a lot to take in. Hearing all of it hurts, and I can’t imagine what the two of you went through. So even though it hurts, I do understand it wasn’t your fault. We’ll figure it out, because I’m not letting you go. Ask Nat, or anyone for that matter. I’ve been a complete mess without you.”

“I love you so much Clint. I’m sorry I didn’t come home once I remembered, I was just scared.”

Clint unburies your face from his chest so he can see you. He moves your messy hair out of your face and wipes the tears away. “I love you too baby. I need you and never want to be without you again.” 

He slowly leans forward, but stops himself. “Would you punch me in the face if I try to kiss you?” He has a tiny smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. That’s exactly what he said to you the first night you met him on that rooftop. 

So you respond the same way you did that night. You bite your bottom lip and shake your head no. He puts one hand on your face and uses his thumb to free your bottom lip. Then he leans in and gently presses his lips to yours. How you had the willpower to stay away from this man you’ll never know. Kissing him feels like there’s fireworks going off in your mind. You move your lips against his and pull him closer. 

He breaks the kiss before it can get too heated and rests his forehead against yours. “Will you please come home now baby? We'll figure everything out together.”

"There's so much to figure out Clint. What's everyone going to think? Is Steve going to hate me? Are you angry with Bucky? I have a super soldier baby in me that Hydra would love to get their hands on. What about my brothers? Are you going to finally decide I'm not worth all this trouble?"

Clint wraps his arms back around you. "Calm down, take some deep breaths and listen. Okay? I won't lie, I'm hurt about this, but not as hurt as I was after I lost you. I trust you and I trust Bucky. I already told you I understand it wasn't your fault. You're my wife and I take our vows seriously, for better or for worse. Our friends will understand and I'm sure Steve will feel the same as me. We'll get through this together and take it one day at a time. What did I tell you the night we met when you asked if I thought you were worth the trouble?"

You smile against his chest. "It's not trouble because you're worth it."

"I meant it then baby, and I mean it now. Please come home."

With your head against his chest you can hear his heart pounding as he anxiously awaits your response. “Okay, but I need to talk to my brothers first and come clean. It’s probably going to end badly again with Dean. I’ve been pretending not to remember anything, and he’s been happy being my brother again.”

“So neither of them know you're pregnant or that you remember anything?”

“No only Cas, and he promised not to say anything.”

“When did you start remembering?” Clint asks you hesitantly. You lift your head off his chest and reach under your pillow pulling out the photo he had given you. You hand him the picture and put your head back onto his chest. “You remembered when I gave you the picture?”

“No not exactly. Even after Hydra brainwashed me repeatedly and wiped away my memories I held on to one thing. I could picture a pair of bluish green eyes. I didn’t know who they belonged to but I knew it meant something. So whenever I was out on a mission or given a file with pictures I would always look at the eyes first. That room you guys held me in had dim lighting so I couldn’t see yours clearly, not until you gave me the picture. I didn’t know what it meant though. After I broke myself out I would stare at that picture and eventually things started slowly coming back to me. I tried to hold onto you, I swear.”

Clint hugs you tightly. “I believe you baby. I know it must have been hard.” When he releases his hold on you he reaches for a chain around his neck. He takes it off and holds it above your face. You smile at him as you lift your head, and see him smiling back at you with watery eyes. “Can I put it back on you?”

You feel your eyes welling up with tears again as you nod your head and hold out your left hand. He slides your wedding ring back onto your finger. It still fits perfect, and looks perfect where it belongs. You wiggle your hand so the purple stone in the center sparkles under the light. 

Neither of you wear your rings on missions. It’s not really a good idea to wear jewelry when you’re in the field. So you each have chains you put your wedding rings on for safekeeping and hang them up in your bedroom. Which is why he’s had your ring all this time. 

You eventually tear your eyes away from your ring and look up at Clint who was watching you. You lean up and give him another kiss after you whisper. “For better or for worse handsome.”


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

  
  


The bunker used to be your home, but it doesn’t feel like your real home anymore. You love your brothers and want more time with them, especially Dean. But Clint is your home, and the Avengers are like your second family. You want to go back to New York, and hope that both of your families can forgive you for everything that’s happened.

After you and Clint talked and held each other for a while longer you told him you needed to talk to Sam. You also want to talk to Steve before getting on the Quinjet to leave for New York. 

Clint gives you a hug and kisses your forehead. “Did you want to talk to Sam alone?” You gently grab Clint’s hand and lace your fingers together as you open your bedroom door. “No, together.” He gives you a small smile and nods his head.

You make your way through the halls of the bunker and find Sam sitting at the table in the war room nervously tapping his fingers. He turns his head when he hears you enter the room, and his eyes immediately zero in on your hand that’s entwined with Clint’s. Your wedding ring sparkles when it catches the lights overhead. He jumps to his feet with wide eyes. “Do you remember more now sis?”

You bite your lip and look at him nervously. “Well Sammy, the truth is I’ve had my memories this whole time. I was just afraid to go home, and I didn’t think Dean would take me back if he thought I remembered. I’m sorry for lying to you. I hope you can forgive me.”

Sam crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head at you. “Well I don’t like that you lied to me, but I can also understand why you did. I had my suspicions that you remembered more than you were letting on. You’ve been through a lot so of course I forgive you. I just want you to be okay, that’s all I really care about.” Then he opens his arms to you. You release Clint’s hand to give Sam a hug.

“Thank you Sammy.”

Once he’s done bear hugging you, he pulls back so he can see your face. “So why were you so scared to go home? You know that no one blames you for the things Hydra made you do, right?”

Your face falls and you look back at Clint. He extends his arm to take your hand again. You pull away from Sam, taking Clint’s hand and take a deep breath. Clint kisses your temple and tells you it's okay. 

“Well...at first it was because me and Bucky did some things when we didn’t have our memories. Kind of our unhealthy way of dealing with our anger and confusion. So I was ashamed, and didn’t think I could look Clint in the eyes after what we did. Or Steve. Then it only got worse for me after Dean had Cas check me out. Then I felt like I could never go home again. He told me I’m pregnant.”

Sam’s mouth practically drops to the floor. You can see his face is full of questions as he tries to come up with the right words to say. “Did he……..he didn’t…..um….force himself on you?”

“No he didn’t. That’s where the shame came in. Like I said, unhealthy coping. I felt and I still feel like I betrayed Clint and Steve.” You choke back a sob at the last part. 

Clint wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly to him. “Baby we talked about this. It’ll be okay. Together, remember?” You just nod your head against his chest as you try to control your breathing so you don’t start hyperventilating again.

“Sis, he’s right it will be okay. I get to be an uncle. You know how awesome that is? You have people that love and support you. Alright?”

You turn towards Sam and give him a watery eyed smile. “Okay Sammy, thank you.”

“So does this mean you’re going back to New York now?”

“Not right this very second, but yes that’s the plan. I still want to talk to Steve. And then brace myself for talking to Dean when him and Cas get back.”

Sam nods his head. “I’m sad to have you go, it’s been nice having you here again despite the circumstances. But you know that no matter what happens with Dean you still always have me and Cas right?”

You let out a sigh as you think of Dean. You don’t want to be without him again, but that’s entirely up to him. There’s only so much you can do. “Ya I know. It was nice to have my big brother love me again even for just a couple days after all this time. I really miss him. I just wish he could move past what happened.”

“(Y/N) he never stopped loving you, he’ll always love you. That’s why he was so hurt over you leaving. But I agree, I wish he could move past it so we can be a family again.”

After you finish talking with Sam you decide to go talk to Steve. Clint keeps his hand entwined with yours as you exit the bunker and walk outside to the Quinjet. He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze as you get closer. You get more nervous with each step. You keep yourself tucked closely behind Clint as he climbs onto the jet and pulls you in with him. When you hear voices you cautiously peak around Clint and see Bucky and Steve sitting closely together talking. Then you become worried that you interrupted their conversation, maybe they weren’t done talking things out. 

Clint decides to talk for you first since he knows how nervous you are. “Steve? Someone wants to talk to you.” You hold your breath as you wait for Steve to say something to Clint.

“Doll, come here.” Steve says in a calm and quiet voice. When you don’t move Clint turns around and puts his hands on your shoulders. “Baby it’s okay. Go talk to him. Me and Bucky will wait right outside. I think me and him should probably have a talk anyway.” 

As Clint’s talking Bucky appears at your side, and puts his hand on your back. “Eto normal'no kukla”  _ (It’s okay doll.)  _

Once Clint and Bucky walk outside you finally force yourself to look at Steve. He doesn’t look angry, but he looks sad and his eyes are red like he’s been crying. He opens his arms. “Doll, please come here.”

You run across the jet into his arms, burying your face in his chest as he wraps his big strong arms around you. “I’m so sorry Steve. Please don’t hate me. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Steve rests his chin on top of your head. “I don’t hate you doll. You’re still my best girl.” That makes you cry more and you squeeze him tighter since you don’t have to worry about physically hurting him with your strength. “I know it wasn’t your fault or Bucky’s. It’ll be okay, and we’ll figure this out together. All of us.”

“I’m sorry. I love you Steve.”

“I love you too doll. I’m just glad you're safe and we have both of you back finally.”

Steve scoops you up and sits down holding you in his lap as you cry. You’re pretty sure he may have been crying too, but you were too caught up in your own sobbing to really tell. Once you finally calm down you try wiping the tear stains off your face. “I missed you Steve. I missed all of you.”

“I missed you too doll. We all did. Sam’s still sulking around because you destroyed his jetpack though.” He says teasingly to lighten the mood.

“To be fair it was actually your shield that destroyed it.”

Steve chuckles. “Is that how it’s going to be? Okay I can take half the blame. I did throw the shield first.”

“I’m sorry I kicked your ass twice too. I’m gonna need a little help with this whole super soldier thing. I have to keep reminding myself about my strength.”

“It’s alright, I’m not afraid to admit I got beat up by a girl. Wouldn’t be the first time, and probably won’t be the last. Don’t worry me and Bucky will help you through it.”

That makes you laugh, about him getting beat up by a girl. You know he’s referring to his pre-serum days. 

A short time later Clint and Bucky come back. You climb off Steve’s lap and Clint wraps his arms around you. “Everything okay baby?”

You look at Steve and he nods his head. “Ya me and Steve are okay. Hey I forgot to ask, where’s the rest of the team?”

Clint shrugs his shoulders, because he wasn’t sure. He was more focused on getting you home than anything else. So Steve answers your question. “Oh they are out searching for the Hydra bases and for that device they had you steal from Tony’s vault.”

You look at Bucky and frown. “You didn’t tell them where the bases are?”

“I don’t know if I can’t remember or if I’m just choosing not to remember. But no, I couldn’t tell them where or much of anything really.”

Your eyes go wide. You can’t be mad at Bucky. You’ve had the information yourself and didn’t think to share it because of everything else you’ve had going on. “I can show you on a map. But I’m also guessing you don’t know that Alexander Pierce and Brock Rumlow are still alive. They were the ones holding us.”

Both Steve and Clint look furious and confused. Steve’s frown deepens. “But how? Natasha saw Fury shoot Pierce and Sam saw a Helicarrier land on Rumlow.”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. We weren’t really in a state of mind to be asking questions. Rumlow was our handler, but he does have bad scarring on his face. And Pierce was the one sending us on missions.”

Steve goes into Captain mode. “That’s why they took both of you, for revenge. I need to call Tony, and then I need you to show me where all the bases are.”

You still lived in the bunker when Shield fell and it came to light that Hydra had been infiltrating Shield from the inside for decades. A few months after Steve, Sam, and Nat’s fight in Washington DC with Hydra is when you left for New York to join Clint and the Avengers. You’ve been helping fight Hydra ever since.

Clint holds you tighter like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets you go. You turn in his arms so you can hug him. As you stand there holding each other you hear the rumbling sounds of Dean’s Impala approaching. 


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

  
  


As you hear the sound of the Impala getting closer you panic and squeeze Clint tighter. He groans out in pain making you jump away from him like you’ve been burned. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

He reaches for you, pulling you closer and puts his hands on your face. “I’m okay. You just caught me off guard, I forgot how strong you are too. I’m not injured.” 

He leans down and kisses you softly, which helps distract you and calm you down. When he breaks the kiss he rests his forehead against yours. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“Thank you, but no. He’ll just get more angry if you’re there.”

“Okay, but I’ll be close by in case you need me.” He gives you one more kiss and then releases you. Steve’s already on the phone with Tony. But Bucky gives you a nod letting you know he’ll be there too if you need him.

You leave the safety of the Quinjet and head towards the garage where Dean parks baby. Thankfully the Quinjet was hidden behind some trees so he wouldn’t have seen it as he came in. As you get closer to the garage you can hear noises. When you turn the corner and baby becomes visible you almost can’t believe your eyes. Cas has Dean pressed up against the car with his body flush against his as they devour each other's mouths. 

You are giddy with excitement and then you feel creepy for watching. So you turn to leave but bump into something and accidentally announce your presence. 

They break the kiss but stay pressed against each other. When they see it’s just you they both smile. You smile back awkwardly. “Sorry boys, didn’t mean to interrupt. Carry on.” As you turn to walk away Dean calls out for you. You stop with your back turned and slump your shoulders. Now you really don’t want to do this. Dean’s feeling completely happy in this moment and you’re about to ruin it. You take a deep breath and turn around with a fake smile on your face. 

Dean looks at Cas. “You mind if I talk to my sister for a minute?”

“Of course not. I’ll wait inside.” As Cas backs away Dean grabs him by the trenchcoat and pulls him back for one more kiss bruising and then releases him. Cas gives you a shy smile and mouths ‘thank you’ as he goes inside the bunker.

You nod your head and smile, then turn to Dean. He’s smiling bright as he watches Cas walk back inside. “Well seems your drive went well. And you took my advice, grabbing him by that trenchcoat and shoving your tongue down his throat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of you this happy.”

Dean’s cheeks start turning pink. “Well I can’t think of a time I’ve ever been this happy I guess. I have my family back together, and then me and Cas. I suppose you want a thank you and say I told you so?”

You try keeping the smile on your face, and etch this moment into your mind. Dean looks carefree and happy for the first time in your lives. “No, not at all Dee. You two together is all the thanks I need.”

Dean’s smile falters a little. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” You internally roll your eyes and sigh at yourself. Apparently you’re a terrible actor.

“Um….I guess I need to tell you a couple things.” Should you tell him you're pregnant first or that you remember everything? If you tell him right off the bat you remember he may not let you get the rest out. 

Dean crosses his arms over his chest looking worried. “Okay, I’m listening.”

You move a little closer to him as you fidget nervously. “Well I found out that I’m….um….that I’m pregnant.”

He stares at you blankly for a moment as the words slowly sink in. He uncrosses his arms and puts his hands on your shoulders. “Who the fuck touched my baby sister? Did they force themselves on you? I’ll tear their fucking hearts out with my bare fucking hands!” His face is turning red with rage. 

You put your hands on his face. “Calm down Dee. It wasn’t like that. Remember how I told you about when they would wake us up from the cryo chambers? Well we would be really confused and angry for the first couple days. We didn’t really understand what was happening to us, and our way of coping was to blow off some steam…..you get what I’m saying?”

“When you say we, you mean….”

“It’s Bucky’s.”

Dean’s rage had dwindled as you were explaining and changed to looking worried, but now he’s wearing a deep frown. “I thought you didn’t know his real name (Y/N). Did someone tell you or are your memories coming back?”

“That’s the other thing I needed to tell you. Because of the things Bucky and I did I was too afraid and ashamed to go home. I didn’t think you’d take me back, or help me if I remembered. My memories started coming back before I prayed to Cas.”

He tears his hands away from you. He looks hurt and scared. “So you’ve been lying to me this entire time?”

“I’m not the only guilty one here. You were lying to me the entire time too. You were hoping I would never remember. I really am sorry for lying. But I missed you so fucking much, and I got to have my big brother back. I was too scared to tell you, because I was afraid how you would react.”

Dean takes a couple deep breaths and runs his hands through his hair a couple times. “Have you talked to him? Is that why you’re coming clean all of a sudden?”

“Bucky showed up wanting to talk to me. After I told him about the baby and why I stayed away he told me that Clint and Steve were here also. While you were out I came clean to everyone. So you were the last person I still needed to explain myself too.”

He finally notices the wedding ring back on your finger and his face turns red with rage again. “He’s here?! Right now?! So what, you’re leaving then? Is that what you’re trying to say?” 

“Dean, he's my husband. I live with my husband. But I don’t want to lose my brother again. I love you so much Dee. I can’t even describe how much I have missed you.”

“After everything you went through because of those people you want to go back?! You were missing for an entire year! You were tortured, brainwashed, and experimented on. What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“It wasn’t their fault. And I’m pregnant. I’m obviously not going out on any missions or hunts. Can I please have both of my families? You’re going to be an uncle Dean.”

He looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “No (Y/N). Just no. You get one family. Let me know when you decide which one it's going to be.” 

He gets into the Impala and angrily peels out of the garage. You watch him drive away until you can’t see the Impala anymore.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

  
  


It’s cold. You’re so cold you’re shivering but feel like you can’t move your body. Your vision is blurry but you can hear a voice, a familiar voice. It’s Dean. You try calling out to him but you can’t make a sound. So you try to focus on what he’s saying. 

He’s telling you it’s your own fault. You chose wrong, now you have to deal with your own consequences. Then he walks away from you. You try calling out for him again because you know the pain is about to hit you. No words come out but you scream as loud as you can.

Your body starts shaking and you hear your name being called. 

“(Y/N)! Baby wake up!” You force your eyes open and see Clint hovering above you looking down at you worriedly. You’re shivering and breathing heavily so you try to catch your breath. “Clint?” You rasp out.

“Ya baby, I’m here. You were having a nightmare. I’m so sorry. I forgot to turn the heat on before we went to bed, and you kicked all your blankets off.”

He grabs the blankets you kicked off the bed and pulls them over you. He lays down and pulls you to him so you lay your head on his chest. You wrap your arm around him and try to calm yourself down now that you know it was just a terrible nightmare. 

“I’m sorry Clint. I know I keep waking you up, and you’re not getting much sleep because of me.”

He runs his fingers through your hair and keeps his other arm wrapped around you. “Baby you have nothing to apologize for, it’s not your fault. And I’m fine. I’m just worried about you, and the little one.”

The cold still bothers you. And it's significantly colder in New York than Kansas especially this time of year. Your first night back home in New York you had another nightmare, and scared the shit out of Clint. So he’s learned to make sure your room stays warm. But occasionally one or both of you forget.

You’re a little over five months pregnant now. You’re not huge, but you are getting a belly. The whole baby thing made you feel awkward when you first came home. It was proof of what you and Bucky had done, although unintentionally. The entire team was shocked, but once they got past the initial shock they’ve all been nothing but supportive. And happy you and Bucky are finally back home. 

Clint had to have a few talks with you in the beginning. You had a hard time getting past the shame you were feeling. He finally told you that you’re his wife therefore it's his child too. This baby is just going to have a lot of fathers. Bucky was having the same problems with the situation as you so Steve had to talk with him the same way Clint did with you. He wants to be involved and be there for both of you and the baby. Since then you’ve made sure Steve feels included as well. It’s a completely weird unconventional situation but you’re all making it work.

Between Clint, Bucky, and Steve you are never alone. Which sounds overwhelming, but with the way you’re feeling you actually appreciate the constant company. They keep you from your negative thoughts and from spiraling into your inner turmoil. 

Clint and Bucky haven’t gone out on any missions. After losing you for a year Clint refuses to go out anytime soon. And he’s trying to keep your pregnancy hidden so Hydra doesn’t find out. 

You and Bucky also need to stay as far away from Hydra as possible because the trigger words they planted in both of you are still there. 

Tony and Bruce are working on a way to fix that in between missions because what worked on Bucky before didn’t work on either of you this time. So the three of you help out remotely from the Tower when possible. The rest of the team has been taking out the Hydra bases you mapped out for them. They did capture Alexander Pierce, he was a little extra beaten and bruised by the time Nat and Steve were done with him. But Rumlow and Tony’s device you stole are still MIA. 

You haven’t seen or spoken to Dean since the day you watched him drive away in the Impala. Cas checks on you and the baby a few times a week, and most of the time he brings Sam. You’re worried about the whole super soldier serum and what it will do to the baby. So Cas keeps close tabs to make you feel better. And you recently found out thanks to Cas that it’s a girl.

According to Sam and Cas, Dean stayed away from the bunker and went off the grid for a month. He was mad at Sam for calling Bucky. He was mad that Cas knew your secrets and kept them to himself like you asked. And he was hurt by you leaving again. When he finally returned to the bunker he reconciled with both of them. But once again refuses contact with you. But him and Cas are still together so you’re happy for that. You miss him, but the ball is in his court. 

  
  


You and Clint finally roll out of bed when he hears your stomach growling. He chuckles when he hears the sound. “Guess my girls are hungry.” You smile against his chest. It makes you happy every time he says that to you. 

The two of you make your way to the kitchen and see Steve and Bucky are already cooking. Now that there’s three super soldiers, and one is pregnant, they have to make enough food to feed a small army. Clint lifts you up making you let out an embarrassing squeal as he laughs and sets you on the counter. He goes to make some coffee for himself.

Bucky hands you a plate of bacon which makes you smile. “Are you trying to buy my love with bacon?” You say teasingly. He smiles at you mischievously. “Well I had to one up Steve. He got you that milkshake last night.” You chuckle at him. 

Then he takes a good look at you. He puts his flesh hand on your face, he’s afraid to touch you with the cold metal sometimes. He frowns and looks over his shoulder at Clint. “Another nightmare?” Now it’s your turn to frown. Apparently super soldiers can still get bags under their eyes from lack of sleep.

Clint takes a drink of his coffee before answering Bucky. “Ya, but it was my fault. I forgot to turn the heat on in our room before we went to bed. She got a little sleep though.”

You scowl at both of them. “She is right here and she can hear you.” It pisses you off when they talk about you like you aren’t there. Steve interrupts and hands you a strawberry smoothie. “Here doll, just ignore them.”

You smile at him. “Thank you Steve.” Then you stick your tongue out at Bucky. “I love Steve more now. He doesn’t talk about me like I’m not in the room. And he gave me a smoothie.” Steve and Clint both start laughing, and Bucky makes an adorable pouty face.

Clint sets his coffee down and gives you a kiss. “I’m sorry baby.” As he’s kissing you, you feel the baby kick and you smile against his lips. You grab his hand and put it on your belly. “She’s kicking.” He hasn’t felt her kicking yet, no one has but you. You feel it again and see Clint’s face light up. “This is so amazing.”

Bucky who is still close by pouting is watching. You reach your arm out and grab his hand putting it on your belly next to Clint’s. Another kick, and Bucky’s face lights up like Clint’s. “This is amazing, and she’s so strong.”

You feel like you’re leaving Steve out. So you nod your head toward him hoping Clint and Bucky catch on. Thankfully they do. Clint moves to the side so you can see Steve. “Steve come feel.” He keeps his eyes on the stove where he’s currently cooking. “No it’s alright.”

“Please Steve.” You know he’s just trying not to impose, and let Bucky and Clint enjoy the moment. Bucky pulls Steve towards you and takes his place at the stove. “Go on, don’t be a punk about it.” He says jokingly to Steve.

You grab Steve’s hand and put it on your belly. When nothing happens his face falls a little, which makes you feel bad. But it doesn’t last long because she kicks again. His face lights up just like Clint and Bucky. “You’re right Buck she is strong.” Which really isn’t surprising considering the circumstances. 

You smile at Steve. “See aren’t you glad Bucky shoved you over here?” Bucky is smiling smugly behind him. “Yes doll, thank you. And Bucky you better stop smiling.”

Bucky bites his lip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Doll will you open that cupboard behind you and hand me a plate?”

You’re laughing at Steve and Bucky as you reach over your shoulder to open the cupboard. You pull too hard and rip the door off the hinges and accidentally hit Steve in the head. “Oh shit! Steve are you okay? I’m so sorry.” 

Clint and Bucky are trying to hold back their laughter. Steve rubs his head as he chuckles at you. “It’s alright doll it was an accident. We still need to work with you on controlling that extra strength of yours.” 

Steve takes the cupboard door out of your hand as Tony walks in. He looks at you in annoyance. “Seriously? Again? Didn’t I just replace that one?”

You give him a nervous smile. “Sorry Tony. And no this is a different one.” You know he’s not actually mad at you. He just likes giving you a hard time. He shakes his head at you. “Well when you’re done demolishing the carpentry work Dr. Cho is here whenever you’re ready.”

Even though you have your own personal guardian angel who checks on you and the baby you also wanted a doctor. Dr. Cho and Bruce said they would help monitor the baby and run some tests to see if or how the serum may be affecting her. 

After breakfast you and Clint walk down to the lab. You politely told Bucky he didn’t need to come but would have Jarvis tell him if it changes. Dr. Cho does a routine check up on you while Bruce takes several vials of blood to do different tests on. 

She pushes around on your belly. The baby kicks her back in response, making Helen startle a little. “She certainly is strong already. I think we should do an ultrasound, and you can listen to her heart beat.”

You look up at Clint, if she’s going to do all of that Bucky should be here. Clint can tell what you’re thinking. “Jarvis, can you please tell Sergeant Barnes he’s needed in the lab?”

_ “Yes I will notify him right away.” _

You put your hand on Clint’s cheek. “Thank you handsome.” He leans down and kisses you softly in response. 

Minutes later Bucky comes barreling into the room. “What’s wrong?” You chuckle at him. “Calm down. Nothing is wrong. Dr. Cho is going to do an ultrasound. We thought you should be here for it.” His stressed out face instantly looks relieved. You look behind him expecting Steve, but there’s no sign of him. “Where’s Steve?”

“Him and Sam left to follow up on a possible lead on Rumlow. They should be back in a couple hours.”

Clint holds your hand as Helen does the ultrasound. Even though Cas keeps telling you she’s fine, you still worry. You squeeze Clint’s hand as your baby becomes visible on the screen. 

You hear Bucky gasp so you look up at him. His eyes are glossy, so you grasp his hand also. He looks down at you. "Kukla eto nasha doch'.”  _ (Doll that’s our daughter.) _

“Da, eto nasha devochka.”  _ (Yes, that’s our baby girl.) _

Clint leans down and kisses your forehead. “She’s going to be beautiful just like her mama. I love you baby.”

“I love you too handsome.”

When you get to hear the heartbeat is when your eyes start to water. As do Clint’s and Bucky’s. That’s the moment the shame of what happened finally leaves you and you feel happiness and love instead. 


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

  
  


It’s been a couple days since the ultrasound. Dr. Cho and Bruce assured you she’s developing normally. Bucky has been running around showing the sonogram photos to everyone. Steve was sad he missed it, but you gave him his own copy of the sonogram and promised him he could be at the next one. Clint has started rubbing your belly more often since then too. 

You’re sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Clint is standing between your legs with his hands on your hips. You have one hand on the back of his neck and the other in his hair as you kiss him fervorously. He’s kissing you back just as passionately. He slips his tongue into your mouth and pulls you impossibly closer as you moan into his mouth. 

Then suddenly you hear the familiar sound of wings fluttering. You break the kiss and Clint groans in protest. You chuckle as you drop your forehead to Clint’s shoulder. “Cas, what I have told you about calling first.”

“Oh yes, my apologies.” 

You hear your brother huff in annoyance. “Cas you said you talked to her. I asked you before we left.”

As you lift your head you see Cas cock his head to the side. “I did talk to her. Two days ago I told her I would check in on her soon.”

Sam just throws his hands in the air. He knows the angel isn’t going to get it. You bite your lip to hold back your laughter. Clint finally turns around to address the guests that rudely interrupted your make out session. You wrap your arms around him and rest your chin on his shoulder. 

“Hi Sam. Hi Cas, you have the best timing.” Clint says sarcastically.

You decide to lighten the mood and hand Sam the sonogram photo that was sitting on the counter next to you. He gives you a questioning look before he actually looks at it. “It’s your niece. You can have that one. I have several.”

As Sam stares at it in awe you also hand one to Cas. Sam looks up at you with a smile on his face. “This is so amazing. I never thought I’d get to have a niece or nephew. The tests come back okay?”

“Ya Dr. Cho and Bruce say she’s developing normally.”

“Have you picked any names yet?”

You look at Clint, and he nods his head at you. “Mary Rebecca. Mary after our mom of course, and Rebecca was Bucky’s sister. We’re still deciding on what to do about the last name.”

Sam’s face lights up more. “I think that’s a perfect name.” Cas smiles at you also. “Yes I like it very much.”

Your face falls a little when you look at Cas. “You can show that to Dean if you want, and tell him the baby name. I know he probably doesn’t care though.”

“Angel that’s not true. He does care. He’s just…...stubborn.”

Clint decides to change the subject since Dean is still a very sensitive subject for you. “So I don’t think you guys heard the news, we’re moving out of the tower soon. All of us. Tony is building a more family friendly compound in upstate New York.”

That makes your face light up again. “We’ll even have a nursery to decorate and everything. I’m excited, but we’re going to have a lot to do.”

Sam gives you a knowing smirk. “You want help putting up the wardings?”

“You know me well. Yes please.”

Sam and Cas stay and visit with you for a while. Cas also checks the baby and reassures you like he always does.

After they leave Clint was paged to another floor by Nat. So you take the brief moment of quiet and alone time to enjoy a bath.

When you get out of your bath Clint had already returned to your room. He's lying down on the bed in just sweatpants. You're still damp and wrapped up in a towel. He looks you up and down with hungry eyes.

You bite your lip and slowly walk across the room. "Whatcha lookin' at handsome?"

"My gorgeous sexy wife." He says without missing a beat. Then he sits up with his back pressed against the headboard of the bed.

You climb on the bed, into his lap straddling his hips, and put your hands on his bare chest. He smiles as he puts a hand on the back of your neck and gently pulls you closer until your lips meet his. As he moves his lips against yours he puts his free hand on your bare leg. He slides his hand up your leg and it disappears under your towel.

He nibbles on your bottom lip and slips his hand between your thighs. You moan into his mouth as he slides his fingers through your wet folds. Then you move your lips along his jaw and kiss down his neck.

He slips a finger inside you making you gasp against his skin. You're so wet he's able to slip a second finger inside you. He groans as you nibble on his ear. "Baby I want you so bad."

You start grinding against his hand in response. He reaches for your towel with his free hand to open it, but you lean back and stop him. 

With the recent and subtle changes of your body, you've become a bit insecure. Clint gives you a knowing look. "Baby you're beautiful, and sexy. You don't need to hide your body from me."

You bite your lip and look at him nervously. It's just your own insecurities getting the best of you. This man has already proven he loves you unconditionally. So you know he's telling the truth about how he feels.

You take a deep breath and open up your towel, dropping it onto the floor. He looks you up and down with lust blown eyes. "You're so fucking sexy baby, my dick just got impossibly harder."

"Well I guess we better do something about that then." You say in a seductive voice as you lift yourself up so he can slide his sweatpants off.

When he gets his pants off you look down and see he wasn't lying. His dick is extremely hard, and the sight of it turns you on more.

You lean down and kiss him as he lines himself up at your entrance. He puts his hands on your hips as you slowly sink down onto him. You put one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder.

Once you're seated on his lap with him fully inside you, both of you moan into each other's mouths. You rock back and forth with him helping guide your hips. You start out slow, but you want more so you move your hips faster. As you pick up the pace it gets harder to continue kissing so you rest your forehead against his shoulder. 

“So good baby.” Clint gasps out next to your ear.

He starts thrusting up into you as you slide back down his hard length making you moan against his neck. “Harder Clint.” With his strong arms he starts pulling you down harder to meet his thrusts. He continually hits the right spot over and over. So you know you’re not going to last long, and you don’t think he will either.

You can feel yourself already on the edge so you grind down harder against him. Which tells him your close so he slips a hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit. That mixed with him hitting the right spot repeatedly has you crying out as you reach your climax. You're still coming as Clint reaches his own. You feel his cock twitch inside you as he comes while moaning out your name.

You stay in Clint’s lap as you both catch your breath. You put both of your hands on his face and press your forehead against his. “I love you Clint Barton.” He presses a soft kiss to your lips and wraps his arms snuggly around you. “And I love you (Y/N) Barton.”

  
  


Later that evening you and Clint are called to join a team meeting. Clint fills you in on what Natasha had called him for earlier. They think they are closing in on Rumlow. You’re not going out in the field, but they need your input to see if a facility looks familiar to you. 

As you and Clint are walking down the hall you see Bucky at the opposite end. He turns when he hears you and Clint talking. When you make eye contact with him you stop dead in your tracks and push Clint behind you. Which confuses him. “Baby what are you doing?”

“He’s not Bucky right now.” You try whispering quietly, but you’re sure with his super soldier hearing he heard you. He hasn’t moved, he’s just giving you a familiar cold stare. “Soldat?” You say questioningly. But he gives no reply. You see he has his cell phone in his hand, so you decide to try something else. 

“Soldat, Kakaya u vas missiya?” ( _Soldier, what is your mission?)_

“Zavershi moyu predydushchuyu missiyu i vozvrashchaysya s toboy.” _(Complete my prior mission and return with you.)_

You take a deep breath. His prior mission was to kill Clint. How are you going to stop him? You’re pregnant, so not really in a state where you can fight back. “YA ne mogu pozvolit' tebe sdelat' etogo soldata” _(I can’t let you do that soldier.)_

He lifts his hand that’s holding the phone and presses a button to turn the speaker on. When you hear the first word you can already feel your mind trying to cloud but you try fighting back. 

_“Желание” (Longing)_

“Clint, you need to run.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and you shrug him off.

_“Ржавый” (Rusted)_

_“Семнадцать” (Seventeen)_

“Now Clint! Go!”

_“Рассвет” (Daybreak)_

_“Печь” (Furnace)_

You’re not sure how much longer you can hold on. You can feel yourself slipping and the fog setting in your mind. You lean against the wall and try taking deep breaths. You’re not sure if Clint listened to you or not, and you’re afraid to turn around to find out.

_“Девять” (Nine)_

_“Добросердечный” (Benign)_

_“Возвращение на родину” (Homecoming)_

One last thought comes to your mind before you lose all control, and you scream it as loud as you can. “CAAASSSS! CASTIEL!”

  
  


_“Один” (One)_

_“Товарный вагон” (Freight car)_

  
You stand up straight and walk to Soldat waiting for you at the end of the hall. When you’re close enough you give your expected response.

“Готовы соответствовать.” _(Ready to comply)_


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

  
  


The coldness is what wakes you. You’re cold and shivering. You open your eyes but it's dark, practically pitch black so you can’t see anything. You don’t know where you are, or how you got here. The cold, darkness and confusion overwhelms you and you start screaming. You scream so loud your throat hurts.

A familiar sound reaches your ears, and should bring your comfort. But you’re so frightened and confused you can’t stop screaming. The room lights up and there’s an even brighter light in front of you. Then a warmth and calmness washes over you.

“Angel? Can you hear me? You are safe. You need to calm down for the baby or I’ll have to put you back to sleep.”

“Cas?” You rasp out. Your throat is raw and burns from the screaming. Slowly your eyes start coming into focus and you can see familiar bright blue eyes looking at you with worry.

“Yes Angel, I’m here.” You lean forward into him and bury your face in his chest as you wrap your arms around him. The tears start spilling from your eyes. You don’t know why you’re upset because your mind is fuzzy. But you remember being scared. He has his arms wrapped around you also. He runs his hands up and down your back trying to help calm you down. You can feel his grace flowing through you again as you feel calmer and your throat stops hurting. 

“Cas what happened?” Your words are muffled from your face still being buried, but he understands you without difficulty. “What’s the last thing you remember?” His deep gravelly voice rumbles in his chest.

You try thinking through the haziness in your mind. Why were you scared? You were walking with Clint and then…...Bucky. You and Bucky heard the trigger words. “Bucky.” You whisper.

“Yes you called out to me just before you lost control. I got to you quickly and put you to sleep. Bucky took a little more effort, but I eventually was able to render him unconscious.”

You unbury your face and lean back so you can see Cas’s face. “Did we hurt anybody? Oh no. Clint. Is Clint okay? Where is Clint?!”

“Calm down Angel. He’s fine. He didn’t want to let anyone in here until we were sure I returned you to normal.”

You sigh in relief and can breathe a little easier. “Is Bucky okay?” 

“He’s still sleeping. He’s having trouble waking up like you were. This is the third time you’ve woken up. I had to keep putting you back to sleep because you wouldn’t calm down. And I didn’t want to cause the baby distress.”

You look around the room. They put you in another prototype room that was made to potentially contain Hulk. It’s in the basement of the tower in one of Tony’s labs. It’s less like a jail cell and more like a hospital room. Cas puts his hand on your shoulder to get your attention. You turn your head and look into his eyes. He looks nervous. 

“Angel I need to tell you something. I know you didn’t want me in your mind, and I tried to honor that. But the mind control they used on you took over with just a simple phone call. I healed your mind, and undid what they did to you. I’m sorry and I understand if you’re angry. But this would just continue happening and you and other people would get hurt. Or we could lose you again. And I just couldn’t let that happen.” 

You break eye contact and look down. Your vision starts to blur and tears drip down landing on your hand. “So you saw everything?” You whisper quietly. Cas puts his finger under your chin and gently lifts your head up so you look him in the eyes again. “Yes, but none of it was your fault. You had no control over your actions. This is on the men that did this to you, not you or your friend.”

“Did you tell Clint what you saw?”

“No. I knew I already crossed a line by being in your mind. It’s not my place to tell him anything. That’s up to you. It can stay between us, I promise.”

“Did you heal Bucky too?”

Cas just nods his head. So he really saw everything. You bite your lip trying to hold back a sob. “We killed so many innocent people Cas.” He wraps his arms back around you as you cry into his chest all over again. You’ve been stuffing those memories and feelings away trying to ignore them. The guilt you feel for the people you and Bucky hurt while under Hydra’s control. That was why you didn’t want Cas in your mind. You didn’t want him to see everything that happened during that year. 

You hear the door open and close, but you don’t lift your head. You just squeeze Cas tighter, thankful you can’t really hurt him by doing so. 

“Is she back?” You hear Clint asking Cas.

“Yes, she’s just upset.”

You feel fingers running through your hair. “Baby I’m right here.” You slowly lift your tear stained face from Cas’s chest and look at Clint with your watery red rimmed eyes. You look him up and down for any visible injuries. “Did Bucky hurt you?”

“He got one good punch in before Cas could get to him. But Cas healed me, I’m fine I swear. Can I switch places with Cas so he can go check on Bucky again?”

You hug Cas tightly once more and then slowly pull away from him. “Thank you Cas, for everything. And I’m not angry with you.” He gives you a small smile and kisses your forehead. Then he gets up so Clint can sit next to you on the bed. Clint wraps his arms around you, and the two of you sit there quietly for a while after Cas leaves. 

Clint eventually breaks the silence. “Are you doing okay baby?”

“I suppose. I was just really scared and confused when I woke up. Once I remembered what happened I was worried we hurt someone. What even happened? Cas only gave me pieces of the story.”

Clint lets out a sigh. “Well turns out it was Rumlow that called him. Somehow he got Bucky’s personal number and said the trigger words over the phone. You screamed for Cas just before the trigger words finished. I know you told me to run, but I wasn't about to lose my wife again. Thankfully Cas showed up right away. Once he figured out what happened he put you to sleep. But Bucky was already charging at me so that’s when he punched me in the gut, and knocked the wind out of me. At least he used his right hand and not his left. That would have sucked.

Tony had me and Steve bring you guys down here to be safe. You’ve been out for a few hours. Everytime you woke up you were scared and wouldn’t calm down. Cas and I watched over you the entire time. Natasha translated the conversation you had with Bucky when we had Jarvis play the video. So that helped fill in some blanks. Jarvis was able to trace the location Rumlow called from. I don’t think the idiot knew about the angel up your sleeve. He probably didn’t plan on the two of you not making it out of the building. Anyway the whole team is gone, chasing down Rumlow to finally end this.”

That would be nice, for this Hydra shit to finally be over. At least the trigger words are gone. Hopefully they find Rumlow. You’d like to take a few swings at him yourself if they catch him. Clint pulls you back from your thoughts. “Hey baby, can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you just let Cas help you in the first place? He could have taken the trigger words out a long time ago.”

You turn your head to look away from him. You were afraid he would ask you that question. You take a couple deep breaths before quietly answering him. “I didn’t want him to see everything. Please don’t make me talk about it.”

Clint pulls you closer because you were trying to lean away. “Okay baby. I’m sorry. You know I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. You can tell me about it if or when you’re ready.”

  
  


Cas comes back a short time later letting you know that Bucky is finally awake, and he talked to him for a while letting him know what happened. Then you remember Clint said the entire team is gone, Steve included. So Bucky is alone right now. Steve shouldn’t have left when Bucky needed him, but you know he did it to catch Rumlow in order to help you and Bucky. You understand Steve’s reasoning, but you know if Clint would have left you would be upset. This is also an ongoing trend you notice with Steve, and it’s starting to piss you off. He leaves on a mission and Bucky pretends to be okay. 

“Clint, he’s gotta be scared, and he’s alone. He hates being alone. I should stay with him until Steve gets back.”

“Okay, I’ll try getting a hold of the team. Letting them know you guys are okay now.”

Cas leaves so he can update Sam, but promises to check in again later. Clint goes back to the upper floor to try getting a hold of anyone from the team. After you ask Jarvis to inform you when Steve returns you go to the room Bucky is being held in. You knock quietly so you don’t startle him as you slowly open the door. Bucky is laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. 

“Bucky? You alright?”

“Depends on your definition of alright.” He says in a sullen tone. 

“Can we keep you company until Steve gets back?”

He turns his head toward you with a frown and looks past you because you said ‘we’. When it finally dawns on him that you meant you and the baby his face softens. He scoots over, turning on his side and pats the empty space next to him. You stride across the room and climb into the bed next to him. He immediately puts his flesh hand on your belly. “Are both of you okay? Cas said he had a hard time calming you down.”

“We’re okay now. I woke up cold and confused, it just took me a little while to clear my head and remember what happened. But what about you?”

“It’s not the first time that’s happened to me, but hopefully the last. Cas said he fixed us.”

You cast your eyes down and put your hand on your belly next to Bucky’s. “Ya I know. But that also means he saw everything I didn’t want him to see. I know it needed to be done though so I can't be angry with him.”

“I know exactly how you feel doll. At least Steve and Clint weren’t the ones seeing our memories.”

Well he’s not wrong. You’d much rather it be Cas than anyone else. “Speaking of Steve. You know I’m going to chew his ass out for leaving you here alone right? He should have been here when you woke up.”

Bucky shakes his head and looks away from you. He’s trying to hide the sadness in his eyes. “It’s fine doll. He’s just doing what he thinks is right. He wants to catch Rumlow and stop Hydra from coming after us again.”

“I understand his reasoning, but it’s still not fair to you. I know I would have been hurt if Clint wasn’t here when I finally came to. So I know you are too, but you just won’t say anything. You’re both used to being soldiers first. But this little girl here doesn’t need soldiers. She needs a family, things need to change. So the sooner the two of you figure that out the better.”

Bucky lifts his head and presses his lips to your forehead. “I know doll, you’re right.” After that the two of you just lay there together quietly. Bucky’s face lights up every now and then when he feels his daughter kicking in your belly.

Sometime later Jarvis’s voice comes through the intercom. “(Y/N) asked to be informed of Captain Roger’s arrival. The Quinjet is about to land. So he will be here shortly.”

Bucky gives you a wary look. “I know I can’t stop you, so go get him sweetheart. I’ll go apologize to your husband while you lecture mine.”

You give him a small smile. “Clint isn’t upset with you. I think on some level you knew you didn’t want to hurt him because you hit him with your right hand not your left. But I also know I can’t stop you either. So let’s go.”

Both you and Bucky get into the elevator. You get off on the floor where the landing dock for the jet is. It just landed so everyone is slowly filing out. Nat’s eyes light up when she sees you. She runs and gives you a hug, while also being mindful of your pregnant belly. “I am so glad you are okay. You are okay right? I’m assuming so since you’re standing here.”

You chuckle at her. “Yes I’m fine, so is the baby. And so is Bucky.”

“Where’s Clint then? He practically never lets you out of his sight here anymore.”

You put your hands on your hips and narrow your eyes at the jet Steve is still inside of. “I have a few choice words to give Captain America in there.” She gives you a smirk and pats you on the back. “It’s about damn time someone did. I’m glad it's you. We got Rumlow by the way and turned him over to the FBI. He won’t be seeing the light of day ever again. Don’t worry I threw a few punches in for you.” Then she walks away. 

“Thanks Nat!” 

You feel some relief hearing that. Too bad you couldn’t punch him yourself. You’re happy about the good news, but you know they could have managed apprehending him without Steve. Rumlow isn’t enhanced, there’s nothing special about him. He’s just an evil prick.

Bruce and Tony hug you when they see you. Both also relieved you’re doing better. When Sam sees you he hugs his jet pack to his chest. He still likes to tease you and give you a hard time for destroying the last one he had. After you flip him off jokingly he gives you a hug. 

Steve’s the last one to climb out. At first he smiles when he sees you but he quickly looks worried instead once he takes in the way you’re looking at him. You have your arms crossed over your chest with a scowl on your face as you narrow your eyes at him. He’s not someone you tend to get upset with, it’s actually very rare. So he’s a little surprised. 

“Doll? Are you alright?”

“Peachy. Can’t say the same about your husband though.”

“What’s wrong with Bucky? Clint called and said you were both okay now.”

You walk over to him and poke a finger into his chest as you very grumpily answer him. “How dare you leave him when he needs you. He woke up scared, confused, and alone. I stayed with him to keep him company, but you should have been there. My husband was there for me when I woke up.”

“I did this for him, for both of you. Rumlow needed to pay for his crimes and I needed to be sure this would never happen again. Bucky understands that.”

“I understand how you rationalize it. But we have a very capable team that could have still managed without you. There’s always some mission you are putting first. So what you are showing him is Captain America comes first and being a husband comes in second. Even though he’s hurting he won’t say anything because he’s stubborn and deep down he thinks he deserves it because of his past. And what about when the baby gets here? Is being a soldier still going to take number one with you? Is that the kind of parent and husband you want to be? You better think long and hard about your priorities.” 

You poke him one last time in the chest and then storm away. Leaving a confused Captain watch you walk away.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, and then the Epilogue. I made myself tear up writing the end of this.

CHAPTER 22

  
  


Moving day is just a couple days away. The Avengers are moving out of the Tower and into a new facility Tony refers to as the compound in upstate New York. You’re excited because your living quarters will be more like apartments rather than just a single bedroom. So you’ll have a nursery to decorate. Even though you still don’t live a completely normal life it's far closer to normal than you thought you would ever have. 

Dr. Cho is going to give you another ultrasound before the move. She has a lab space at the compound she’s going to help set up after the move. You promised Steve he could be there for the next ultrasound. It’s been a couple weeks since you chewed him out. The two of you haven’t talked much since then. Turns out you gave Bucky the little push he needed, and he finally came clean about how he really feels to Steve. 

Things have been a little tense recently, and you don’t like it. You already have one split family, you don’t need a second one. So you told Clint you wanted to have Steve go with you alone for the ultrasound first. Then you’ll call him and Bucky in. Maybe Steve just needs a little wake up call. He went so long without a family maybe he doesn’t know what to do now that he has one.

You told Bucky what your plan was also so he conveniently left their room so you could corner Steve. The door was left open for you. You peek inside and see Steve taping up moving boxes. You knock gently to make your presence known. Steve turns around and gives you a wary look. “Have I done something else wrong that I don’t know about?”

You ignore his sarcasm. “Will you please come with me somewhere?”

He gives you a surprised look. “Where?” You extend your hand hoping he’ll take it. “Not far. Please?” He gives in once you give him a pouty face and takes your hand. He quietly follows you to the elevator. He doesn’t figure it out until you’re halfway there. 

“Doll, shouldn’t Bucky be here?” He says, sounding worried.

“He will when I have Jarvis call for him. Right now it’s just me and you. I promised you that you would be at the next ultrasound. I keep my promises.”

When you get into the lab Steve helps you into the exam chair. Steve looks like he feels out of place as Dr. Cho sets everything up. So when you feel the baby kicking you grab his hand and put it on your belly. He relaxes and his face lights up. 

Steve moves his hand away when Dr. Cho starts the sonogram. You smile when you see baby Mary on the ultrasound screen. You turn your head to Steve and he’s staring at the screen looking mesmerized. “Can we hear her heartbeat Helen?” She nods her head and smiles. When you hear your daughter’s heartbeat it makes your eyes water just like the last time. Steve’s been so quiet you’re a little worried.

You look up at Steve and see his eyes are glossy. Steve grabs your hand without removing his eyes from the screen. “That’s her right there, and she has a strong heartbeat. This is so amazing (Y/N).” Then he finally looks down at you and makes eye contact. “Thank you doll.” You just smile and give his hand a squeeze in response.

Shortly after that Clint and Bucky join you. Steve pulls Bucky into a tight embrace when he enters the room. Things felt a lot less tense after that. It makes you happy seeing them so happy. They are your best friends after all. 

Later that day the four of you took a break from packing to have lunch together. The previous tensions are long forgotten as you laugh together. Natasha comes in looking for Steve. “Hey Cap we think we may have a location on the mini Tesseract that Rumlow stashed away before we found him. Wanna suit up?”

Steve looks at Bucky, and instantly Bucky’s face falls. Then Steve looks at you and your pregnant belly. He takes a deep breath as he turns his eyes back to Natasha. “I think I’ll sit this one out. You and Sam can handle it, and Thor should be back from Asgard anytime now.”

She lifts her eyebrow and smirks. “Good choice Rogers.” She smiles at you as she walks out of the room.

Now you’re back to feeling hopeful this whole blended family situation will work out. 

  
  
  


On moving day you wake up cranky. You couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in. Then for once you were too hot. Clint keeps the heat up so you don’t have nightmares but now that you’re having hot flashes you are starting to welcome the cold. 

So when you wake up covered in sweat after no sleep with a frown on your face Clint tries to comfort you but you just aren’t in the mood. You grumpily shrug him off and stomp to the bathroom to take a cool shower. You know you’ll feel bad for being snappy towards him later, but not so much in that moment. 

At breakfast you go into the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. As you're about to open the cabinet Sam walks in with Bruce. Sam stops when he sees you. “Whoa girl, did that baby double in size overnight?” Instantly you feel insulted and annoyed. So when you open the cabinet where the cups are you rip the door right off the hinges. You narrow your eyes at Sam as you drop the now broken cabinet door on the floor. “Walk away Sam.” You say in an eerily low voice. Both him and Bruce slowly back out of the room.

Clint stayed quiet as it all happened. He figured out very quickly not to mess with you today. Then like clockwork Tony walks in with Natasha. He rolls his eyes at you when he sees you broke another door. As he’s about to open his mouth and say something snarky to you, you point a finger at him. “Not today Tony. Not today.”

Natasha whispers to Tony. “Ok even I’m a little scared right now.” They both decide to go across the street and pick up breakfast instead of coming anywhere near you. 

When you sit down at the kitchen counter to eat you can hear talking. Clint must have forgotten about your enhanced hearing, because he’s trying to whisper but you can hear him easily. He's talking to Bucky and Steve.

_ “She’s not in a good mood this morning. So just let her be. It must be the…..” _

You glare at the wall he’s standing on the other side of as you yell. “Clint Barton if the next word out of your mouth is hormones it will be the last word you ever speak.” You hear him audibly gulp after that.

  
  


When the moving starts it was decided since you can’t help lift anything that you should just go wait at the compound. Then you can atleast get your bedroom ready to sleep in for the night and start unpacking tomorrow. But no one wanted to ride in a car with you out of fear of pissing you off somehow. Clint of course said he would drive you, even though he’s a little scared himself.

Clint went down to the parking garage first so he could get the car and just pull it up next to the elevator for you. So when you exit the elevator and he’s not there you’re instantly frustrated with him. “How long does it take to get a fucking car? Seriously? He’s had fifteen fucking minutes.”

There’s a lot of outside noise since it's New York City, but you hear some voices echoing through the parking garage. You decide to go see who’s holding Clint up. You were pretty sure everyone was back inside the tower, but you weren’t paying that much attention. Maybe you missed someone. 

When you get closer you can tune out the outside noise and focus on the voices you’re following. 

_ “Today is not the fucking day you wanna show up here! And I’m not letting you anywhere near her if you’re just going to break her fucking heart again!” _

_ “Shouldn’t that be her choice? Not yours! Let her decide if she wants to see me or not.” _

_ “Of course she fucking wants to see you. It’s the aftermath of seeing you that I’m worried about. She’s in a terrible fucking mood and I seriously think she might beat the shit out of someone pregnant or not.” _

_ “Well there you go. Problem solved. I’ll be her punching bag while I’m at it. Now let me fucking see my……” _

You round the corner and see the Impala. Then you see the two men’s voices you were following. They look like they are having a chest puffing match. “Dean?”

Both Dean and Clint quickly turn to the sound of your voice. They both have worried looks on their face. Dean gives you a nervous smile. “Hey sweetheart.”

“What….what are you doing here?”

He puts his hands in his pockets and walks around the car towards you. “Well I was hoping we could talk. That is if you even want to speak to me.”

You’re in shock that he’s even here. You stand there just looking at him for a moment while you take in what he’s saying. Because of the long silence his smile starts to falter. He looks down at the ground as he’s trying to think of something else to say. You feel your eyes watering and take the few steps you need to reach him. So he’s surprised when your pregnant belly bumps into him and you wrap your arms around him. He immediately hugs you back.

Your body starts to shake as you cry against his chest. "Sweetheart please don't cry. I am so so sorry."

Once you calm down you pull away from him and Clint comes and stands next to you, wrapping his arm around you. "Dean, not that I'm not happy to see you. But why are you really here?"

He opens his jacket and reaches into his pocket. He holds a paper in front of him so you can see it. It's a sonogram photo. "Sam and Cas gave me this and said if I wanted to know my niece's name I had to ask you myself. Can we please go for a drive and talk?"

You know your brother well, he's not just nervous he's scared. He's afraid you'll say no. You can also tell he's being sincere.

You turn and look at Clint. He puts his hands on your face. "It's your choice baby. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I….I think I'll go with him and he can drive me to the compound. And you'll get a break from my crankiness." You give him a small smile when you say the last part.

He chuckles as he pulls you to him and hugs you. "I really am sorry for snapping at you all day. You didn't do anything wrong baby. Can you forgive your grumpy pregnant wife?"

"Of course I forgive you. I know you weren't really mad at me. I love you. Even when you're scary and cranky." He pulls back a little to give you a kiss. 

"Thank you baby. I love you too. I'll text you later so you aren't fretting the whole time." You say with a smile then kiss him once more.

Clint glares at Dean. "You better take care of my girls. I mean it."

To your surprise Dean doesn't say anything rude in return. He just nods his head. "I will." He says in a serious tone. Then he extends his hand to you. When you take his hand he walks you over to the Impala and opens the door for you helping you into the seat. He runs around to the other side and hops in. You smile when he starts the Impala. You missed riding in this car with him. As he pulls the car out of the parking garage you smile and wave at Clint hoping he’ll stop looking so worried. 

“So sweetheart, I heard you were going all terminator on everyone. How about some chocolate peanut butter ice cream to cheer you up?”

A small smile tugs on your lips. That’s your favorite ice cream. When one of you would have a bad day he would go for a drive with you and get ice cream while singing along terribly to Dean’s music. “I didn’t go terminator. I didn’t actually hurt anyone. But I did manage to scare Black Widow, and that is a hard thing to do.”

Dean starts laughing, it’s a real laugh too. You’ve missed hearing him laugh. “I would have loved to have seen that. So is that a yes or no to the ice cream?”

“Sure I know a place.”

The drive through town is quiet. Dean has the radio down low so you can give him directions. You know he’s waiting a bit longer before starting the serious conversation he wants to have and you’re okay with that. After you stop at the little ice cream shop you have him park somewhere quiet near the waterfront. 

As you sit there quietly you can tell Dean’s feeling uncomfortable. “Dean, you came to me remember? So spit it out already.”

Dean sighs and rubs a hand down his face. “I know, this just isn’t easy for me alright. You know it’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong.” He grabs both of your now empty ice cream containers and sets them on the dash. Then he takes one of your hands and holds it. “(Y/N) I wish I could take it all back. You have been my responsibility since you were in diapers. I was your big brother, your father and mother, and even your best friend. You and Sammy have always been my everything. So when you talked about leaving I felt hurt and betrayed because I have sacrificed everything to keep the two of you safe, and keep us together. And I know you never asked for it and none of it was your fault. Then some guy comes along and takes you away from us. I thought at first if I stayed radio silent long enough you’d come to your senses and come home. When I realized that wasn’t going to happen I had dug myself in such a deep hole I couldn’t bring myself to admit I was wrong. I’m the one that kept us apart not you. Then you went missing and I hated myself even more for what I had done. And back at the bunker when you told me everything and tried again to reason with me I did it again. Truth is I immediately forgave you for lying, but my own stubbornness got in the way. I want my baby sister back, I want to know my niece. I am so sorry sweetheart can you forgive me?”

A heavy flow of tears started streaming down your face as he was talking. You try wiping them away but you start sobbing when he asks you to forgive him. He slides you over in the seat pulling you to him. He wraps his arms around you. “I miss you. I’m sorry (Y/N).”

He just holds you for a while. When you get your breathing back under control you sit up and look Dean in the eye. His face is just as tear stained as yours. “I have been waiting over 7 years to hear you say that. I love you Dee. I want my big brother back. Of course I forgive you.”

“I love you too sweetheart.”

You wrap your arms around him and manage to remember not to squeeze him too tight. As he hugs you back you smile against his chest. Then you feel the baby start kicking. You pull away rather quickly which makes Dean frown. He’s afraid he did something wrong already. But you grab his hand and put it on your belly. “She wants to say hi to her uncle.”

She kicks again and Dean’s face lights up. His already glossy eyes start watering again. “Mary” You whisper to Dean. He gives you a questioning look. “Your niece's name is Mary Rebecca.”


	23. Epilogue

CHAPTER 23

Epilogue

The sun shines down on you as you lean your back against your husband’s chest. The joyous sound of a little girl giggling reaches your ears. Mary laughs as she dumps a bucket of flowers on her dad’s head. Bucky who was laying on the ground pretending to be asleep sits upright with flower remnants tangled in his dark hair and spits some petals out of his mouth. Her other dad laughs along with her giving her a high five for her handy work. Bucky glares at Steve as he jumps to his feet “You’re both in trouble now.”

You and Clint can’t help but join in on the laughter as Mary and Steve’s eyes go wide. Mary runs and jumps into Steve’s arms. He picks her up and puts her on his shoulders. She giggles some more. “Ha ha daddy. Come get me.” Steve playfully runs away from Bucky.

Mary is now three years old. She has long dark chestnut hair and bright blue eyes. Tony calls her Snow White because of the dark hair and her pale skin. She looks just like Bucky. You thought she was the most beautiful child you’d ever seen since the moment you laid eyes on her. But in the back of your mind you still had some fears. 

Once it became very obvious who her real father was you worried about how Clint and Steve might feel. But they both fell in love with her from the moment they each held her in their arms. They both love her like she’s their own daughter so you eventually let yourself let go of the past. She calls all three of them dad. 

Her last name ended up being hyphenated. It's Barton-Barnes. Steve swore up and down he was okay with it. When him and Bucky got married they also hyphenated their names. So he said Barnes was his last name too.

Because of the serum she is very strong and very smart. She developed quickly, at 1 ½ she was speaking full sentences. She can lift twice her own weight. Tony learned after you accidentally tore apart half the furnishings in the Tower. He reinforced everything that was built in the compound. Bucky and Steve are still teaching her to control her strength just like they had to do with you. 

You and Clint have semi retired. Both of you help remotely from the compound. Give intel or instructions how to gank a monster if one pops up. On rare occasions when it's all hands on deck Clint will go out on a mission. You tried to go once and he just about had a panic attack. That year you were missing still haunts him and he never wants to go through that again. So you stay at the compound with Mary, and you’re actually okay with it. 

Bucky and Steve take turns going out on missions. Steve has slowed down significantly ever since Mary was born. There had been a couple conversations about moving out of the compound into an actual home. But in the end you all decided against it. Life here is good, and Mary has all of her parents here. She has her own room with in each of your mini apartments. She alternates who’s apartment she stays in, but you’re all still under one roof. The rest of the team loves her too. She keeps everyone on their toes and livens the place up. 

  
  


Clint wraps his arms around you and rubs your pregnant belly. "Just wait until this one is running around out here. Together they'll wear us all out."

You chuckle and put your hands on top of Clint's. You're about 7 months pregnant with your son. Your first child with Clint. He corrected you when you said that out loud though. He said Mary is his too, so this is his second child. Sometimes you wonder how you managed to find such an awesome husband. 

Bruce and Dr. Cho ran some tests because just like your last pregnancy you were worried about the serum. Especially since only one parent had the serum this time. The tests came back just like Mary's. So he's likely going to be just as strong and intelligent as her.

Pepper and Tony also have a baby on the way. Tony joked he's going to have to add another building to the compound if babies keep popping out.

"Uncle Dee! Uncle Dee!" You hear Mary shouting. You see Dean, Cas, and Sam walking through the grassy yard towards you. Steve sets Mary down because she was squirming on his shoulders reaching for Dean.

Dean kneels down on one knee and opens his arms to catch Mary as she latches onto him. He smiles brightly at her and whispers something. She giggles and reaches into his jacket pocket pulling out a piece of candy.

She loves all of her uncles but she clearly favors Dean. Sam and Cas say he cheats and bribes her with candy.

Dean walks over to you with Mary in on one arm and a smile on his face. When he's close enough you extend your hand for him to help you up. He sets Mary down and she runs to Sam and Cas to show off her candy.

Dean carefully pulls you up as Clint pushes. "Sheesh Sis you look ready to have this kid now."

"Gee thanks Dean. Love you too." You say as you roll your eyes at him.

He puts his hands on your belly and ignores your sarcasm. "And how is my nephew little Dean today?"

Both Clint and you scoff as you roll your eyes again. "We're not calling him little Dean. We haven't picked a name yet."

He still has his hands on your belly and talks towards the baby inside. "Don't listen to her, you wanna be named after your coolest uncle don't you little Dean." Then you feel the baby kick. Dean smiles victoriously. "Ha! See he said yes."

  
  


After you and Dean reconciled him and Clint sat down and had a civil conversation. They both decided to bury the hatchet and leave the past in the past. Once they moved on they actually became friends. Finally you had both of your families just like you always hoped for. When they aren't hunting your brothers and Cas spend a couple days a week at the compound. Sometimes Cas takes you and Mary to the bunker.

Dean has spent a lot of time with you trying to make up for the years you lost. And he loves his niece unconditionally. He says she reminds him of you when you were little.

  
  


Everyone is gathered together for a barbeque. You're all gathered around a large table laughing and talking. Mary is sitting in Dean's lap eating off his plate. She has an appetite that matches his.

Cas is sitting next to Dean with a love smitten smile on his face. Then he looks at you. "How many more children are you going to have?"

You shrug your shoulders and put your hands on your belly. "Oh I don't know. I supposed it's Steve's turn next." 

Half the people at the table choke on their food. It's been enough years you can kind of joke about it now. Clint and Bucky know you're joking. Steve just shrugs his shoulders with a smile and winks at you as he plays along.

Natasha decides to change the subject but mess with the guys also. She smiles as she watches Mary. "She is so beautiful. You fellas are in trouble when the boys start noticing that too one day."

All of her dads and uncles drop their silverware and go stiff like they hadn't even considered that thought. You bite your lip trying to hold back your laughter. Dean scowls and gently pulls Mary's long hair away from her face. "No boys. I'll have better luck keeping the boys away this time around."

You laugh at Dean. "Dean do you realize if you kept the boys away she wouldn't be here right now?"

He gets the most torn and confused expression on his face. "Shut up." Is all he can come up with. Mary turns in his lap with her hand out and a serious look on her face. "That's a bad word Uncle Dean."

His face softens as he pulls a dollar out of his pocket and puts it in her small hand. "You're right. I'm sorry princess." She smiles looking satisfied as she puts the money in her pocket and goes back to eating.

You shake your head in amusement at Dean. "She's going to get rich off her Uncle Dean swear jar. I do feel bad for any boy that goes through the trouble of trying to date her. She's got so many dads and uncles to go through."

Clint squeezes your hand. "But if it's the right guy it wouldn't be trouble because she's worth it."

You smile and lean over to kiss him. Those are the same words he said to you the first night you met and the day you reunited at the bunker. You always thought Steve and Bucky had an epic love story but looking back you and Clint have a pretty epic love story too. And the best family you could ever wish for.


End file.
